Transcript for #690 - Ronda Rousey & Edmond Tarverdyan

What's up?

It's suddenly like pressure when you said it's live.

I like the new place, it's been a minute.

No, I hadn't even fought for, I was gonna fight for the Shackforce title the first time when I came on.

Yeah, yeah, I got you the cognac.

It wasn't always like that though.

It was very, like, Clint Eastwood, Hillary, so I couldn't really know our baby status.

It was not to me.

It's a very interesting masculine, but they're not afraid to exercise.

I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it.

I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it.

I'll sell it.

I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it. I'll sell it.

I'll sell it

Well, I used to be that I had this car, the Fonda was my Honda and I had one working window, no air conditioning. So I would just sweat all the way home. So I would just put on my same like my clothes. I came in with window like no shower. I would just throw it on still sweating, jumping my car because I would just sweat all the way home at the point. and Edmund's first word of advice, so he made me shower before I got in the car. Even if I was all the way home, I'd be shower again. That was like, you're like, I'm not on the job. And I know you're a very good girl. And I was like, I taught him English for a while.

He was on too after I like won a couple fights. He was like, and well, maybe you should wear like the kids a little pretty some time, but some make a call. So I'll be bad thing and like yeah. Yeah, that was all like, like, him trying to get me to, to grill you up a little bit because yeah, I was a lot grungier when I first started coming to the gym.

Well, you can't walk around like, put it, you know, going all out all the time because then you can't step it up when it's time to step it up.

I want to be able to have like my shoes all that like unveiling moment whenever I feel like it.

I understand that like I like my face You have a beautiful face.

I don't think I should spend my time like, you know, paranoid to show people in the actual face looks like.

How do you see those contouring videos and stuff like that? What is that? You have to find these contouring things where it starts with a girl with her face plane and they do all his contour stuff for them and they're an entirely different person by the end of it.

Yeah, I saw like this one thing. I don't know. It was like Instagram, so who knows if it was even true, but some some guy sued his wife after they were married because he never saw it without makeup. And he was totally busted without it.

I think, you know, but I've seen that a lot, like whenever I see people, like, like a good looking couple, but they got butt ugly kids, then you know, and it's just like, you know, you can't get your genetics lifted.

She looks like anemic here. Look at those eyes.

I thought those stitches in the corners are eyes.

That's not out.

Anyone would be into.

I don't know. I'm not like a big cosmetic surgery type of person, you know? That's face and like

It's like, there's funny people there's nothing wrong with them. Like the chick from dirty dancing was absolutely gorgeous. She got her nose done and it was like, no one could recognize her. She never could get a party again.

Really? She's gorgeous. I think there's like a line like, you know, if you have a cleft lip or something like wrong with you, you know, go for it. But like, if you just self-conscious about something and then, you know, maybe you should just accept it that that's how you look, you know?

Yeah, but I mean, like when you're a kid, when you're a high school, you're a teenager, you're gonna hate everything. Pretty much about yourself for a while. You know, you're like, oh god, you know, you're suddenly super self-conscious about all that. And if it's like so common, easily accessible, people are gonna end up getting so much worked on when they're kids. And they're just being going through that stage when, you know, you should at least wait till you're, like, past 30 and you're like, you know, you've had a good three decades of not being happy with how that looks. And okay, fine, go for it. But if you're a teenager and you're like, oh my god, my friend Allison has big boobs and I want to get implants like, no, don't do it.

You know, you'll get over it. You'll accept that, you know, it'd be a TD committee is pretty cool.

Like you are like all you do is consume If you're a do nothing bitch all you do is spend somebody else's money and try to look pretty like that's all you do is you use stuff up you use up resources and you give nothing And so you're pretty much a drain on society. That's what I think.

I was just brought up to think that it wasn't your mission life to be happy it was your mission life to leave the world better than how you found it and by being a comeback you're not going to do that.

That's like introducing a new, like saying. Like, yes, I invented that. No, I did it.

I think you're your happiness. It's supposed to be a byproduct of actually living a fulfilling life. You know, instead of just trying to, you know, if I tried to get drunk a party every day and it was happy as I possibly could every day, you know, I'm gonna live a really unfulfilled life and die unhappy.

Oh, I mean, I think it's also about not being selfish and thinking about your kids too, because we could all be as happy as possible, you know, in this generation, burn every resource we have, and all of our kids are going to starve, you know, and some post-apocalyptic world, because every before it was just trying to be happy, you know, I like that's not really a good way to live either. You know, I want my, I want to know that my kids are going to be all right, and they're going to live and growing up in a better world than I did. That's going to make me happier than knowing that I had a great time and good luck, Gettys.

And I definitely don't want my kids to be.

No, my mom is, she's a blog master.

If you know, if you really know my mother, you understand most of me, because she is like, I need to get her in here.

Just to think, like, I was so like, laid back and chill, and like, my mom was like, the really just really intense, and then I realized just in comparison to her, I was really laid back and chill, and I'm actually pretty intense. I was surprised when you're so intense. What are you talking about? I'm a chill cool one. It's all relative. Yeah, it's all melted. Hang out with my mom and I'm like, whoa, I don't know how you are as chill as you are. the standards were set so high in your house that just being like what you thought was chill in your house everybody else is like whoa yeah i mean like i was like the black sheep loser in my house for like a long time because you were a loser yeah because everybody else is like bachelor's and master's degrees and they're like you know like average was below like below average exceptional was average in our family the rule was you could pick anything you wanted to do in the world but you just had to be the best in the world that You don't have to pick one specific thing, but you just have to be the best in the world at it.

Yeah, yeah, when you're a kid, but you know what, now I'm happy for it because now I'm in high pressure situations all the time and I can totally deal with it. I mean, now I'm live on the Joe Rogan experience and I'm sure my heart rate is perfectly fine.

Well, I'm sure some people listening right now if they got on, you know, they'd have a hard time relaxing. Like my first time that I came on your show, I was a little bit like amped up because I would watch it all the time and I was a fan, like I would go to training, I would come home and I would make, you know, I had a point where I could afford trader Joe's at that point. So I was like, made myself a little sandwich with Trader Joe's and now I like sit and eat my sandwich and listen to you every day.

She was trying really hard to pull that angle. She brought that Brazilian flag everywhere. She flew with it in the plane. She got the plane with it. I'm sure she went to the bathroom with it. I didn't ever saw her without that flag. But I mean.

Then her brother like takes the flag and throws it at my face when I'm walking in. And I'm like, okay, it's cool for you to be patriotic in prior to your country, but you're like, you don't throw your flag on the ground. Yeah, that's disrespectful to your country. Yeah, exactly. Oh my God. So Edvin's not going to say this, but like, okay. This her brother the guy with like her she had the brother was like blue hair. I don't know.

He was harassing Edmund all over his Instagram, right? And cause an Edmund's like just you wait when I get the done with this when you beat her ass. I'm going to have it. I'm going to tell him I'm like, okay, okay. So yeah, because that's Edmund's thing. He like gets rolled up and no. So then we get there and she's like wearing like these pink shirts and he was outside and we're leaving the bus and being like, you know, fuck you! And like a pink shirt, I'm like, oh, look at you. You're like, you know, same fucking pink. So then we, I'm walking out. the guy throws the Brazilian flag at my face and then almost like started something right then but I'm about to walk on the cage I can tell that he's like restraining himself he's like he's almost just like I'm gonna see you later or kind of thing and like cuts it off which I appreciate that's all control the moment I put like that don't cry like clip on my Instagram right if you look in the background her face hits the mat. Edmund does not celebrate. The first thing he does is he turns around and runs straight at that dude who blew her her brother. He doesn't go gay. It was almost like he was saying there's a whole time. Way for me to knock her out. Just like a go and give this guy shit. It was like he was way for me to win so he could be happy. He'd be like, hurry up, knock this bitch out. I got to go get after this fucking guy.

So every time I watch over and over, Edmund goes, I'm chair runs straight to the dude. Like not even You didn't even smile like that was hilarious.

Well, because that's what she was saying in the way and she's in my face going, don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry. Like she was before she noticed something that Portuguese at me and I'm like, okay, you know.

That's the only thing she ever said to me in English was, don't cry, don't cry over and over and over. So then like right when I knocked her out and like, you know, fix my shorts and I was like, oh, yeah, don't cry. So what makes you think of those things in that moment? I don't know. That's like the most incomprehensible moment ever.

I never did. That was the first time I did that, actually. Yeah. Because I really like received it. Because usually it's just like, okay, I beat the person. And then I had to not say anything stupid. And then I had to drug test and do my medical. And then I had to do press conference and don't say anything stupid again. And then I could eat something in relax. And that was the first time I took like a moment like to just like, look at it.

I was going to see what happened to the crowd because it was interesting, you know? Because I was getting booed a little coming in, you know?

But when it turned, yeah, I was, I was like, I was this close to crying. You know, like, I'm a big time cryer. Like, I was really, really close. Like, oh, that one I'm going to remember forever. It was definitely rocky for sure.

She said that she put her forehead on my first weigh in and I pushed her back and she said the commission should find me for headbutting her.

Well, I don't think we're really like, I mean, I'm going to really know what is going on right now or realize what is going on right now until afterwards. You know, until it's all done. And I can just try to do the best that I can in the moment, but I don't really think that any of us really comprehend what's going on right now until we're looking at it in hindsight. And that's the kind of thing, I think it's kind of funny. There's so many people that just live to hate me, but when I'm gone, they're gonna miss me. I really like this one. I really like this one.

I'm saying I'm like, how are they ever going to have like a bad guy better than Heath Ledger as the Joker? Like you miss them. You need like the Joker's gone. Like you're never gonna have Joker again. I need a Joker. I'm saying that like I am not the protagonist. I'm the antagonist because the protagonist just reacts. They do nothing. At the whole storyline, the whole everything that goes on is completely dependent on the antagonist. I'm the one that's forcing everybody to do something. And so, like, I like to think of myself as more of like the heel, like the bad guy that you somehow, like, sometimes root for, you can't help it a little bit, sometimes, but sometimes you hate him. But I think that the fact that next emotions come out is one of the more interesting things. You know, I'm not trying to have everyone like me. I'm trying to have everybody care about what I'm doing.

Yeah.

It'll come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back.

It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. It will come back. And I wouldn't have shook her hand if we were a low in the room where we had millions of people watching. And the fact that I'm not going to play to the crowd for like having like, you wouldn't have been so easy to shake her hand. Everybody cheer. But I felt like it would have been dishonest. And you know, honesty pays, but it pays very slowly and it doesn't pay very consistently.

Because she insulted and really did some very shady backhanded backstage things. People I really love and care about. without apologizing.

Like, um, one example at the ultimate fighter. Chris feels about to go out and fight. And he's all warmed up. He's ready to go. And literally like two minutes before it goes out. Dana locks it and goes, your sign with another promotion. And he's, he's like, what? And he's like, your, your other promoter just called, like, we're pulling you out of this fight all the stuff to the, uh, Yeah, and it's a close set. No one's supposed to even know that he's on the ultimate fighter. And how would this other promoter even know that he was about to fight in two minutes? And who would benefit from that kind of timing and thing like that? Like he would say it, he said it to other people in the house. So they knew when the other team knew that it was that that a promoter. But how would the promoter know to call right before he is about to walk out to mess with them the most?

Because somebody tipped him off, because it was time. It was pre-managed. I don't believe in coincidences. There's no way that that was a coincidence.

And I think he had a contract, but he hadn't fought in so long. He was supposed to default if they hadn't had him fight within that amount of time. So he was out of it. But it was like some sort of messy contract situation or whatever. But he like mentioned it to the other kids. They got back to their team and they called and set this up so that they would call right at the exact time he's not to go out and try to get Chris Bill pulled out or at least mess with him enough to like have him not be fresh when he went in.

Who else is what to be? Who else would benefit from that?

Yeah, that's not the only thing. That's one small example out of very money. And you know, I just don't even want to like go into it. I like move down on my life.

The next day they put like some uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh...

Like, if someone is like, when purposely, like, trying to, like, backhanded work against you, do a really, really shady shit, and then try to, like, place weed hard to everybody else, and then they try to place weed hard again. I'm not going to trust you at all. Why would you expect that? And why would it be insults all the people that I love, that you insult, that to shake your hand without an apology to them anyway?

It was one of the worst experiences I've ever liked how to deal with.

No about being felt like I was trapped in a situation because the kids needed me so I couldn't leave. And also, I mean, I was kind of trapped. They were like using the fact that I needed to be there for these kids, so they would treat it as however they wanted. And I just felt like I'd never felt like that disrespected in my whole life. And I had to sit and take it every day. And I had to watch people that I really love and care about get disrespected every day. And that was really hard that they were like putting up with it every day because of me. And I just felt really, really responsible for everything. But, you know, I just don't even, I'm not even supposed to go on about it anymore. I get in trouble every time that I talk to you about the ultimate fighter.

People get upset.

Well, everybody knows how I feel about it. But I'm saying that like, you know, because I know that all those things happened, that people watching don't all these things happened. And it would be very easy to to to to play Kate to whatever everybody else was seeing, but I was going to stay to, you know, do what I felt was God honest right thing to do, would be not shake that hand. And if I want to booze before it fine, and there's going to be no situation where you know, everybody else sees something one way, but it's really another way. And I could either prioritize my perception and image above everything and everyone and every moral that I have or I could try and do the right thing and be honest and have people hate before it sometimes.

What?

I didn't even, you know, I just want to put that whole pie by life like that.

What I really wanted to do was I wanted to win and say fuck you and I wanted my kids to go home at 1,000 bucks. that meant a lot to them. In the fact that she didn't give a shit that that money would meant a lot to her kids and they all lost it because she didn't, you know, like the fact that it didn't affect her at all is like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck about them. I've been crushed if I lost. I've been crushed if all those kids that really could use a thousand dollars didn't go home with a thousand dollars, you know, because like, man, I love those guys. I was just, I just gotta figure out a video.

Why don't I move for other things?

Oh my god, this reminds me of, like, these stores is here about my mom when she is competing, like, back of the day.

Man, like, yeah. Shoes always pissed you an angry leftover. That's what they used to say about her. Like, her old teammates tell me, like, yeah, she would walk on the mat and she'd pissed off and she'd throw the girl and she'd beat the courage on bar and then walk off still pissed off. She's an angry leftover. She was still angry and resolved nothing. And, oh, my God. Yeah, that's not to tell you. Like, just I can only imagine if MMA was around when my mom was competing.

Three sisters? Yes.

Everybody's their own brand of crazy.

Um, well, I don't think there's one like the most crazy. I think we just really have our own different kind of crazy. But I think Julia, my little sister, probably the least. The least. She's the most chill. She was very calm. Yeah. Like, whenever we're at fights, like all my sisters are all like, oh, they're so amped up and like, you know, my, my sister Maria, I remember at 168 and I'm getting a migraine, like, through up my mom went to the bathroom to cry. I'm a sister Jennifer's like, I'm never going to fight again. And Julia is like, I knew she'd win. Whatever, yeah.

So yeah, but Jennifer didn't end up, she said she never come to a fight again, but she came to Brazil because I was like, I'll take you guys all resorting after if you come. I kind of like made it, never do it, you know? It's like, fine.

She is soccer. She's like, about to go to the college and then she's just going to get a soccer scholarship.

She did judo. She went up to purple belt, but you know, she wasn't really she's there's a different mentality between someone who does individual sports and someone does team sports and she is very much like a team sport mentality. I've even brought her to come and do our training with us a little bit and whenever we have like a team workout she works a lot harder than if it's like individual like she really wants to like I don't know. She's got one of those things where that's that's her environment like I need all the pressure to be on me all the time.

Well, I mean, I know a lot of these girls like they they would like to win a UFC belt and have that respect, but they're not about that life like they don't want that life. They don't want that attention in scrutiny and pressure and constant work and all those things. And they don't want it. They want one thing without the other, but it all comes together. And that's, I think, one thing that's kind of working against them is when they actually come into fight me, they get a taste, like a small taste of what that life is going to be like when they're a contender. because it is way more attention, way more this way more that way more that way more that. And once you win the belt, it's just doubled every single time. It's more and more and more and more and more. And I don't think any of them would actually be happy with that lifestyle. I don't think they really truly want it.

Even scheduling today was kind of a cluster fuck. to be honest, you know, and this is just like Monday. No, no, no, like, you know, come on.

The GSP is going to be better.

Oh, wow. Okay.

This is gonna be over 60,000.

No, not really.

I have a problem. He actually forced me to relax after this last camp because usually I'm like back on the gym like two days after because I don't know what to do with myself and He like forced me to have 20 days off for this time 20 whole day and that shows like why 20?

It's a earned title. I like it.

Is that like someone calling someone tiger, but or you know whatever.

Oh, it's easy to trust him because like he's told you a couple times before like the fight like, oh, like remember with McMahon, he said it was going to be a little shot. Yeah. And with Davis, he's like, it's going to be overhand right. And this last. And look at this one.

Yeah. And then like with, with uh, Zincano, he's like, she's gonna come out with something flying right away. And you're gonna like check, you're gonna check left and you're gonna like, you know, it's gonna be quick. And then with this fight, he said, with Beth, she's like, she's gonna sleep on her face. He is swear to God. He said, you're gonna knock her out and she's gonna sleep on her face. And I'm like, yeah, okay, alright, alright. It was like, it wasn't just that I knocked you out, but how like, it was on her face.

It is a trust of no cause it is like every time it is getting creepy at this point.

We have that one of these pictures of like, yeah, me and many were all at the gym at like one o'clock in the morning because we all went to dinner and we were so like amped up talking about fighting or like fuck it. Let's go right now. Let's go right away. We're so like into fighting and you know, you should see him go off on a tangent. You're like, minks. You want to fight. You know, so me and men you're like, let's go back. We turned around and straight back to the gym.

Well, the thing is people forget that like when I won the title the first time it was my it was like my fifth profile.

I think it's a mix between how I was raised and never winning the Olympics. You know, that's like the best thing has ever happened to me because it's like now it's just unlimited motivation forever because it's never going to be associated. Yeah, I grew up as a little kid. Like, yeah, I even before I did Chuto, my dad convinced me so you're going to win the Olympics and swimming. You're going to be a champion and then I switched into Chuto, so I was like, okay, I'm going to be a Olympic champion and this is my whole life. That was like my obsession, you know, and I went when I was 17 and we didn't go my way and then when I was 21 like I was so unhappy doing judo that I felt like that was like my last shot.

Because just It got to a point where it's very old school kind of training, or it's drilled into your head that you have to make yourself absolutely miserable in order to deserve to win. And so I was just like, I was miserable all the time.

Like constantly overtrained, always overtrained. Like I couldn't like my knee. I've recovered so much since coming to MMA. Like I was about to retire just because my knee was so bad in judo. because I could barely walk some days. I would out of wake up in the morning and it would take me like 20 minutes to maneuver my knee enough so I could bend it again because it would lock in place in the middle of the night. And, you know, just the people that I was around, like, There was some of them that were cool, but mostly I had no control over who I lived with or who I was around all day long. And so if you're around people that you don't really like constantly, you know, you're just kind of like you're always watching what you say and it was looking over your shoulder. You can never really relax and I didn't like where I lived and it was just the actual process of training, like the training itself wasn't fun at all. And there wasn't meant to be fun at all. And like from when I was a kid from I think from I don't know, 2003 to 2006 and 2002 to 2006, I cried every single practice and would lock myself in the locker room and cry for another half hour afterward.

Yeah. And it was only, like, when I got older, that was able to shake myself from not crying during training because if it didn't go exactly my way, like, if I had, if I got thrown once, you know, by someone who was 50 pounds heavier to me with five years more experience, I would still cry about it. And like, I wouldn't, then I'd be embarrassed that I was crying in that cry because I was embarrassed because I couldn't stop myself from crying. And like, it would just keep going. And, you know, Yeah, so that's how like manny and all them knew me when I was a kid is I was like They my mom wouldn't bring me in there just to get beat up because they were really tough guys, you know, and she'd bring me like four or five different gyms a week to get all the different styles and They would beat up on me and I would get thrown once first time I get thrown immediately start crying then getting embarrassed cry more and then like But they were used to me crying, you know, and like I'd be able to finish the whole night and sometimes, you know, I'd be able to stop crying when they were in the night. And that was like comfortable to me in a way because I didn't have to be embarrassed because they were used to me crying all the time. And so they like accepted me like that. And they didn't think I was a stupid little girl because I was crying during training. And then it really sucked like moving to a different environment. And then, oh, no, these people don't know that I cry. And they don't know that it's my thing. And I'm like, I got to start all over again. And then it makes you cry even easier. Yeah.

Yeah, it was until I ran away from home and like, was out on my own. And that I was able to like, stop myself from crying every night. Then it would be like a couple times a week. And then I kind of like got rid of it mostly. But like since doing him in May, I haven't cried during training.

Like a week after I turned 18.

I know, but no one knew I was leaving. It was in the middle of the night.

You know, um, I was at a point where I felt like every second of my day was somebody else's decision. You know, so like, I mean, I am so grateful to my mother. She's an amazing person. She's the perfect job raising me. And I was kind of a stupid and short-sighted kid that didn't realize how much she was doing for me at the time. And I was, you know, had, like, repunzel in the castle syndrome. And I was like, oh, what was me? I'm locked in the castle. And my mom is so mean. And now I'm like, oh, my God, she's a genius. But you know, at the time, yeah, it was, I was recognized as having a lot of potential very, very young and was treated like that, you know, that like I was like the prodigy kid very young and got really intense, really structured training very early on and like, It just became a whole life. I never went to a single dance or party in school. I never went on a single date. I trade all the time and then dropped out of school sophomore year so I could train all the time. And that was like my life. And then I felt like my life was like out of my control. And so I had left and was like, well, I'm going to win. And I'm going to do this stuff on my own. And I'm going to show everybody that actually know what I'm talking about. And because I felt like my opinion, and no one had any respect for what I thought. And I was always doing what everybody else said I should be doing. And so I went off and I bounced around a bunch of different clubs. It was a very crazy time. I was moving cities like every couple months. And then after 2006, I was like the first American woman in nine years to win a World Cup in judo with no coach. I did it with no coach. And then I also, I wanted to sweeten and I metled in Finland when Americans were getting their asses kicked. They weren't getting past the first round. and so like I was kind of my way to get respect from everybody else was and then I ended up moving to Canada because I was like fuck all the US coaches I'm gonna do this on my own and I was just I was I feel like the national trains are there where they couldn't coach me but I was beating their girls so they're like yeah well come here and we'll they'll get used to you and whatever so I was just kind of like a body for them and I was like pretty much on my own treating on my own with no direction in no coaching and I was like I couldn't coach you because you're a nice state citizen so the idea is yeah yeah and um I was just like so stubborn and not getting enough respect that I felt like I was going to go win with nobody's help and then end up getting asked back to one of the gyms I was kicked out of when I was again.

I was kicked out. I was kicked out several times. I was kicked out like once because like, I don't know, my old coaches' wife, like, didn't like my mom. I don't know. They were having my argument. And like, then like, the last time I got kicked out was, um, I was at the German Super A and I lost. I remember first round, I was fine to go from Finland and I was ahead by like a year ago, which is like a decent score. And there was like 40 seconds left and I threw her with an old cheekar, which you don't know what that is. I pretty much fall into the guard and my arm is out and then I ended up in the arm bar away. I got arm barred and put my elbow like just locate right away. So this 18-year-old little me, my brain is going and I'm like, I was about to turn your team. I was like, yeah, I'm almost there. I'm like, well, my elbow's already out, you know? So I might as well just try to get out, right? And so I try to get out and my elbow goes back in and then she pops out again and I'm thinking, like, what's she already popped it out twice? You know, I can't just like let it do it twice and I ended up getting out and ran the clock out. I won the match, but then immediately right after I fought like, you know, this chick was at Lucy DeCos who was a world Olympic champion from France and I couldn't even lift my arm from my side. Like I had to pick my hand up to like pull it to my side to fight And then that I lost to her and then I fought this German girl next and I still couldn't even lift my hand up. But I would bring my hand up and end up winning that fight against a German girl. And then I ended up fighting Ursula Zulner, who was a World Olympic bronze medalist and it was a closer fight but I lost and so I was all bummed out. And I was talking to my first boyfriend at the time, which was like You know, I never had a date and never had a partner thing in high school, right? And so, like, I'm a 17 year old girl about to be 18. And this guy in his 20s, it's like, on the national team, like, has a thing for me. You know what I mean? Like, I thought, like, I was so cool because, like, I was talking to this guy. Of course, you know, my mom and my coaches are totally against it. And they're like, you're not allowed to talk to him, does it? And, you know, of course, I would talk to him anyway. And so, we were seeing each other for a while. I didn't have seen this guy for like two years, actually. But I went back to the hotel and was like, excuse me, I hate you, no, no, no, no. And then, um, so I went back and I was hanging out with him. And then my coach went down to the lobby, got the key from my room and came up and walked in the room with me in this guy. Freaked out, lost his mind and said, you're out, you're gone. I'm done with you. You're out of the gym. You're out of the gym. Everything. I'll never want to see your face again. All this stuff.

Because I was told not to and I disobeyed.

I told you I had no control over my life at all.

I guess so. Yeah. I don't know. Plus, you know, I was, he was a, you know, it's sleazy kind of praying on the young girl that I didn't see that. I thought, you know, we were in love and all this stuff.

How much older was this guy than you? Five and a half years.

We were talking since I was like about to turn 16.

Yeah, yeah, it was illegal.

Yeah. And then I went home and my mom was like, you know, you're not going to do judo for a year and you better forget the name of whatever his name was and you're going to work and you're going to support yourself and you're going to pay me this amount of money to live in my house and I don't think I'm like, well, I want to do judo, but if I want to work, I'm going to go pay for my rent wherever I want. You know, this is what I'm thinking. And so that night, I got social security checks because of my dad, he died. And so I went open to Baker Count and I reboured his whole security checks to go into my account. And then like I had to get dentists, stuff done. So I scheduled like dentists things, so I still be under my mom's insurance. And then I got myself a plane ticket with the Social Security money to be right after my last dentists appointment.

Yeah, and then like in the middle of the night, like I secretly packed my bags and all this stuff. And I waited until like two o'clock in the morning or whatever to like walk several blocks away from the house and then call the taxi several walks away from the house and then took the taxi to the airport.

Next morning.

But she says, I left a note, I don't remember if I did, to be honest. But I went to like my best friend Lily's house all the way across the country in New York. because I was like, I'm gonna work at Stewart's, which is like their convenience store. I was like, I'm gonna get a job at a convenience store and I'm gonna trade on my own and I'm gonna do it on my own and I'm gonna show everybody that I could do it on my own. You know, I don't know. I was just, I was a young dumb kid and just I had no like way to rebel. So I was like little miss perfect and that was like my little, I suddenly just blew up one day and like took off.

You didn't talk to her at all for two years? Like any time we tried to talk, it would turn to a huge blow up. So like, yeah, it didn't like my whole family, too. Like they were like, you know, it was terrible thing that I did. I like took off. And I like really hurt my mom and my sister really resented before. And there were plenty of Thanksgiving's were like, I would sit there and no one would talk to me since like, yeah, after that.

It took many years for them to actually like forgive me for what I did. Wow.

Well, how come no one's have they caught up to that sense of people figure that out since it's such an old sport where it's like bushyo martial arts and they're like thinking like oh the way since I kind of I mean, and we still do this thing. I don't know who's like I don't know what was it called, something training that this wouldn't kind of train in Japan or like in the winter where they'd open all the windows and they'd be frost on the mats and they would purposely make you freezing cold while you train, which is terrible for you, but it would be like, you know, mental toughness, you know, that kind of stuff and they would always do like more is more for them, more is more and more is more And yeah, I was so constantly overtrained all the time and constantly cutting weight and like not having any way to actually make weight healthily, no tools, no education, anything just getting weight every week and being yelled at for being too heavy, like there's is so poorly run, you know.

Yeah. I get weighed. I used to go weight every Tuesday. And then I would, I would not drink any water after Monday practice. And I would need dinner. And to try and be lighter. And I would still be like too heavy. And then, you know, then I would eat, you know, all the time.

Mm-hmm. Different all the time. Yeah, 16 year old girl and yeah being told that you're you're like you're too fat or you're you know, we should be eating that all at all the time constantly I thought unless I wait exactly 63 kilograms. I was ugly for the longest time Yeah, it took a while to get over It's why I'm so big and doing body and stuff and the do nothing bitch, shirts they all went to D.D. Hersh, which is it's free mental health clinic that's 52 different schools around L.A. that helps girls with body and eating disorders and suicidal, all these different things, to give those kids treatment because I didn't have anyone talked to. I didn't even really know that I had that much of a problem.

I think there's a time for it. I think when you're in a developmental phase, it's a good thing to be to be overtrained a little bit and be made uncomfortable and you know, to have to run laps or do your footwork.

Yeah, but when you're at a professional level and this is the time you need to perform, whatever personality you've developed is already developed by now. Yeah. Then it's time to train professionally.

Well, almost all just seems like unfinished.

My career is more left to do, I don't feel like I'm done yet. And because of what the Olympics is, it's just like, you went into the gold medal and you're done. Right. You have seen one of my really done.

That definitely would.

Yeah, but she never steps up, you know, like, I'll, I'll, I'll know, you know, I'll probably go a little longer waiting for her, but, you know, if she showed up sooner or later, you know, and I don't know how much longer I would go after that.

The thing is, someone who used to steer away so it's kind of things, they need that to mentally think that they have an advantage that they didn't earn. It's a crutch for her. She needs to feel like she somehow has an advantage from the outside because she doesn't think she's good enough with just what she has That's why that's why you dope in the first place because you feel like the best you have isn't good enough. She feels like if we fight fair The best she has isn't gonna be good enough That's why she wants it to be somehow stacked in her favor

Yeah, that's the thing. If you could make weight and be on steroids, even if it's a relatively making weight, friendly steroid, you're still like, Without it, you're capable of moving down. You see what happens to people when they stop when they get off the steroids. You see what they look like. It's very easy for them to drop down. They immediately, they immediately shrink up. It changes everything. It changes everything and it's all like an insecurity thing. That's all it is.

I think he's the same that I did growing up. I was under who saw a testing for now. It was 14 years old. And then when I started doing MMA, I was like, really? They just hand me a cup and say, go in this other room and come back with something. Also 14 year old little girl, they're like, drop a pants, pull up a shirt, spin around a circle. Okay, make sure I can see it while you're pitting, peeing and they're like, you know, it was like the most thorough. I went with the first time I was like, I had to drink eight bottles of water, but I'll do it. I was so nervous, yeah. And I'm like, wait a minute, to fight for a strike force title, or UFC title is, Less strict and less thorough testing than a 14-year-old at the junior Miami Youth in judo? Think about that. That's crazy. 14-year-old at the junior Miami Youth International in judo in Florida.

Well, you strict your testing, then the first couple of times I won the UFC title. Now what's the same testing when they brought us out of it and do the testing I was like thank god and you know what's funny is the same chick that like was my out of competition testing lady from when I was a kid she's like my same lady again she like showed up to the gym I was like oh my god I was in the out of competition testing to like did it for so long I remember like having to fill out those forms all the time with such pain in the ass and now it's actually really really easy like um out of competition testing was I hated it because of the paperwork, but I was always so happy that they did it, you know, and now I'm like really confident with what the testing is for us now.

That's the thing. Like when you look at these people from before when they're using it, after when they're not, they look entirely different. And Cyborg looks in ways exactly the same. If she gets off, it'll be very easy for her to make way. from what we've seen from every single other person that's got.

Very possible. I can't like say what proof anything lot of that, but if you look the exact same as you did when you were using and what changed.

Oh, yeah, she's like tiny.

She's the size. I mean, the shape of your head.

It's very similar to the hormone therapy that

It really is. If you walk in there with confidence, there's no way this person's going to touch me in the heat you don't care. If you walk in there without those, that's what it is. Like, dopeing is a mental handicap. And when they use, it's the mental crutch. Like, when you take that off, it's not just what they physically lose it's what they mentally lose and that's the hardest thing for them to let go you'll use once and you're gonna have that forever you're gonna have that mental handicap forever there's no way you can get it you couldn't fix it right you'll always know that you used and you always know that it helped you and you'll always feel like less without it

And that's the thing, if like you get into setting where everyone's doing it, then you're hitting and punching harder than a person should. And you're taking more damage and more punishment than a person should. And that is how someone's going to eventually die.

That's amazing. I mean, I'm completely supportive of IV, like, ban, even just for weight cutting.

once in 2005 right before the World Championships in Egypt in Cairo and it was the worst ever because in judo you have like an hour and a half sometimes from way into when you're gonna go and then you're gonna fight like seven times you know it's crazy and so I got the opportunity to use it because friend of mine had it and it wasn't, you know, it was still legal back then it wasn't, you know, it wasn't a thing so it wasn't like a cheating. It's just, you know, other people, I just didn't have the means to do it and other people did. And so I got the opportunity to use it and I was like, all right, I'll try it out. I had a really, really bad way to cut. I was, you know, kind of like being a dumb kid and it was just after I ran away from home and I terrible like it. It was like 2005. It was like, yeah, that same year. And, um, I ended up getting chills, like my whole body got chills, like my whole body was swollen. I've never felt that slow in that terrible, like it was the worst thing.

From the IV?

Was that?

I don't know but I remember I got chills like I couldn't stop myself from shivering and like I was really really slow and sluggish and I absolutely hated it. I hated it and edited it again.

Yeah. And if you need medical attention from cutting weight, you're in the wrong division.

I mean in comparison with Judo I was like what I got 24 hours and I don't have been out because in Judo I'll have to have an hour and a half to three hours and out the wing in like four times a month or something like that I mean that's really like I couldn't do that fighting length 35 now

I don't believe it helps at all. I think it's a hindrance, but if you're having a terrible weight cut and you're really worried about this fight, it's really helps put your mind at ease if you think, oh no, no, it's fine. I'll have a IV and it's like the magical tier and it's like this bad weight cut never happened.

Why does your body only absorb water back as fast as it does? Why does it expel that much and only keep so much? Because like that's what's best for it. It doesn't that way because it's best for it. Not because, you know, it's suddenly just, you know, while it was evolving, it was like, ah, this is the best I could do.

But understands that like, you know, you're living in Africa. There's not that much water. And, you know, there could only be one day of rain. And, you know, like, I'll dry out the next day. And you need to drink as much as possible. And then your shed'll look out of water for a while. You know, these kind of situations happen for many, many, many years. And why do we only, we hydrate as fast as we do?

But I was saying like, camels can be hydrate faster than us, right? They can hold a lot more water stuff. It's just like it's physically possible for you to evolve that way. So why do we evolve this way?

I mean, like, I stopped weightlifting a long time ago. I'm almost two years younger than I was.

If I have anything wrong, you know, I can go see like a physical therapist and he could not give me stuff to do or whatever. I mean, I have such a base of doing strength and conditioning for so many so many years that's like my body is balanced the way it is, you know, there's not like an imbalance that I had to make up for through strength and conditioning. And yeah, I don't want to announce like I'm worried about being too bulked up where I can't fight the way I want to

Yeah, but I mean, have you ever seen, have you ever seen Pacio, like, doing clean or like bench pressing? Right. Or like, you ever see, like, maybe what they're doing, anything like that? And you ever see, like, any of those great, like, didn't, was, how would I leave, like, hitting the iron or anything like that? You know, none of that were. And there's a reason for that.

And when you do conditioning, you probably don't do like lifting.

Um, I mean, I could, around 10 over like three days before. So all 10 over. So it sounds the last three days.

I have dulce, you know, I remember you much the lightest that I had get without, you know, but I can't lose any more fat when I'm at like 43. And then like the last like eight pounds has to be water. Cause that's just, you know, I just can't get any smaller than that.

I feel like I'm actually like And my best shape and the best fighter that I possibly can be if I make 35 and then go back up to like 47 48 the next day.

It doesn't have to be so much more disciplined. in order to do that. To get to the 45, I could fill a whole lot more. You know what I mean? I can kind of blur the lines of my diet a lot more. I wouldn't have to be so disappointed. I wouldn't have to be so many ounces at this hour for weeks and weeks ahead of time. When I'm at the point where I'm about to actually go fight, I don't feel the weight cut from the day before. It's just crazy feeling where I feel like I'm inhabiting this body that I only have for a day. My fight night body, it's like everything is peaked up to that day. And when I'm finally inhabiting this body that I feel like a fucking ninja at you. Me right now is not me right then.

You know like you can't describe to you how it feels like after all that work and all that perfect food and perfect training, perfect peaking and then it's all like done and it's all like been fine tunes so I could be the best that possibly like is physically possible for a human form to be for this 24 hour period that I have like I'm perfectly peaked. It feels fucking amazing. And I don't think I could get that feeling without cutting the 35 first.

I actually get to put it on like a four ounce gloves and he does like his rap, he does the best rap like ever. It's unbelievable. But like his fight day rap is like different than his training rap. Like when I actually have that rap on and those small gloves on, like I feel like I could rob a fucking liquor store.

I remember going home, I remember going home to my exes like we're for the time and just bitching about how Edmund would not spend any time on. Even though even though yeah, we are in a world and he was spending.

Oh go home every night. And I would be like he saw you know and I ask him and he's just like you know I don't know it's too hard to get or like what is it?

He's like paying all attention to all his people and was intentionally interested to remember my face and he's not paying attention to me and like oh my god.

It was before my first profile. He started, um, actually, right.

This was before the first amateur fight. We had this fight.

You tell it, you tell it.

I got out of the locker room and I was like, no, no, no, no. I got out of the locker room and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I got out of the locker room and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got out of the locker room and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got out of the locker room and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 9.30. Well, they were like 8.30 to 10. They had to work out. But I left early at 9.30 so that I could get to the gym in time at 10 to be able would be there to bug admin and to hit the whole thing of this for me because he wouldn't. He still had it at that point, but every day I would ask, can he hold this me? He's like, no, I'm missing. I'll miss me and I got this thing. And every single day I like the excuse got like worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. Yeah, and so that day I left far and early so that I could be there. I'm like my hands. I'm sitting behind the desk. I'm all like, okay, I'm like, I'm gonna, like, pretty much, probably when he gets in the door, I'm asking again, because that's like my thing now. And he comes in door and I'm like, hey, I don't even can you hold me to day and he goes, I don't want to sweat in this shirt. Walk down. He's like that. Like that. And I don't know what, this is fucking bullshit.

And then it was just like no one's because they ever learned that. I was like, it was like you pull the record. It was like everybody looked at her like oh my god, that's I'm just going to help him. And he was just like

So then like, I like, I walk up and I'm like going to grab my stuff or whatever. And I'm walking back across. He's like, don't ever, he's like, don't ever swear. I'm never speaking to me like that in my gym and I was like, and I was like, fuck it, whatever. He's like left. I went out the door. I grabbed all my stuff. And I was ready to never go back in there again. Like, I was like, well, I'm not welcome back anymore. He never even said that I could train there. He just didn't say, no, you have to leave. So I just stayed. And that's the thing. It's not a welcoming environment.

And I was like, Oh, God, I left my gloves. You know, because I kind of forting things with gloves that were given to me. I think Roman gave me gloves. And I was like, oh, whatever. You know, I'll find new gloves. I'll find a gym. I don't know how. I'm for any of it. I don't even know how I'm in front of the guest home, but somehow. And then like, then he texted me to come back. He like, he got a text. It was like, come back to the gym. And I was like, well, At least I can give my gloves and have excuse. I can't grab my gloves. So I turned back around, I got to the gym. I can't even pick it up from here if you want.

Look, if you're catching in chains, to make rent. OK, if it's that close every month, I start a car wash.

And so like I also had a dog that like I had a really small apartment. I saw a dog mochi. She's awesome, but like she was a crate train for the car pretty much. You know, like I would bring her everywhere I could, but like not at the gym because she wasn't allowed at the gym, but she would just chill in your car. Yeah, if I had to go anywhere, you know, like in the evening, I wasn't going to let her like die of heat stroke or anything. I think it was like the weather was fine. She would come with me everywhere. And then like I had a basket system in my car where I had like, I would just bring my basket of like clean clothes and put it next to an empty basket. And then after training, I'd put all the other clothes and all the dirty clothes and one basket. And then when the clean clothes basket was empty, I'd wash the other one and like had this rotating basket thing. My dog is just obsessed with the smell of my vagina. I don't know why. I don't know why, but she would just go through all of it, she would, whatever she was going to back, she would rip all of the dirty clothes out, put them all over the chair and just just rub my old, sweaty underwear that had been sitting there, like just all over her face, like it was like her favorite thing in the world, and so it's just, there's just, There's sweaty pants like underwear and bras everywhere and dog hair and all stuff and men is like both CD clean you want to know why that pen is straight because he's probably that earlier and he already went like that and straightened it out and we just didn't realize it okay so he gets in my car and my car looks like you know it is a petri just trying to find it like the new cure for like leprosy or something and he like, levitate it.

And I don't know how those were physically possible. Those are really low, right? You know, somehow how to speak. Like a fortified degree angle. But it was not touching his ass too much hair. And that's how I drove him to the end.

What he did is he explained why he was right. I was like, oh, I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

He couldn't stand him a man. He didn't like doing him a man. Like he like trained man. He just because like man he works so hard.

But yeah, other than that, Edmund only had men, Armenian boxers and that was like his little like soap category.

And then does like the structure of the camp. So what we do what days. But when I do like, you know, Jitsu or Judo are wrestling, you know, I'm working with somebody else, but because like the amount of time or, you know, how like, How the intensity or what day it is?

Because in the beginning, it was like, he did all the striking, and I was all of the grappling. Yeah, and then so I didn't have a due to or wrestling, due to a coach for

It's it's very different because it's very risky in that when you go for a leg lock, it doesn't work out. Yeah, yeah, I think a lot more about about risk and that's why I feel like like arm bars work so well is because it doesn't work out. I'm still I'm still on top I could still be some more positive, you know, instead of if I go for a leg lock, I'm suddenly on the bottom. You know, that's why I don't do doubles. I don't shoot for doubles. So if it doesn't work, then you're on the bottom. You're in a worse place. It's so risky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you did just do you learn stuff about a particular direction when you're outside of camp and camp is what directs it towards something specific.

People make the mistake of trying to memorize certain things, like separate things that aren't completely disjointed and not related, as opposed to memorizing concepts. When I'm grappling I probably make up 15 different moves tonight. I've never done before. Just off the top of my head because it makes sense right there.

Yeah, the concept. I'm just applying the concepts to every kind of situation I can end up in. I don't memorize every single individual move. It doesn't make sense. I'm not going to memorize a leg lock and then memorize a spinning back elbow and then memorize a push kick and memorize, you know, something else is completely a super band punch. They're completely all over the place and they have nothing to do with each other. They're not connected. Why am I spending so many hours of my day on all these different things that they're not connected to each other? And so I spend a lot of my time Connecting things, as opposed to trying to learn individual things that don't have anything to do.

That was the worst throw ever. The last, the beginning of the third round, and she was out on her feet at the straight right, and I knew it because the way she was breathing, when I put it up against the cage, I felt she was, she was deflated, and she wasn't there anymore. So I knew I could do whatever kind of bullshit thrown in the world, even if I could be on the bottom. It's still gonna work, I think she's not there. And the idea, not fight, the structure of the fight that he put out is you're gonna break her first standing, and then the submission will be easier, because there can be so focus on the submission, You had to get them, their mind somewhere else before you go for it. And so at that point, I knew that she wasn't there because of, like, you have to have a feel for the other person and know them very well. You have to know them so intimately, you know that if they're breathing differently, you know where their mind is at. And that's the time I can do the shudiest semi-guy issue that you ever seen and be straight on the bottom and know that I'm going to finish her from there because she's not defensively there at all.

I'm not going to be doing this in my 30s. No.

No, I don't want to be fighting in my 30s.

Stakes stacks of thousands is going to rifle it through the phone. But I mean, if you're actually 30 or so, that's not 30, that's 30.

How old are you now? That's 30s plural.

I don't know. Like, I look at it like, like, exactly like how we were talking about how fighting. That's how I do everything else. I don't look at all these separate, disjointed things. Like, I'm not gonna go in there and I'm not gonna try this thing and then try this thing and try that thing and then hope something works out. It's like I follow like a path trans thought. while I'm I'm in there and while I'm doing everything else so it's just like this is what I want to do right now and these are the possible reactions these possible things that could happen and we're going with option three okay this is these are the possible right and I and I follow it like like a path from whatever happened from what I'm doing right now that determines everything else afterward and I just kind of follow it and so it's very everything's very organically done and I'm improvising all the time I'm improvising when I'm fighting I'm improvising with my career I just know the concepts of what I want to accomplish in my career. I don't know exactly what I'm going to be doing. I don't walk in and I'm going to aren't part of that person. You know, I don't right now know exactly what I'm going to, when I'm going to retire and how exactly I'm going to do it. But I know it's going to happen at some point. I know I'm going to, but we know she's going to be undefeated. I know I'm going to be undefeated. I know I'm going to retire at some point. But still, I'm still so far away that I can't say exactly how I'm still following the path and the train of thought to go.

Yeah, but that's why I'm- Look at Fedor. Oh, that's what I'm doing. He's jumping back too. Because what else is there for them to do?

Yeah, I just want to build it up enough and tell but enough where it's ready for me to do full time when I want to switch over. You know, I got a lot going on.

It's hard, like, doing expendables and fast nefarious back to back right before going into chaos.

I don't know how to wrap my hand.

You know, um, this, this scar on my knuckle. The, I think it was like nine stitches or something like that from the Lexus Davis fight. Mm-hmm. That is injury from, that me should fight because I lost like Alice as well. I was filming. And so, um, right when I came back, all the skin came off my hands right away, like bare, like my knuckles were like gone.

No, I trained a lot, but I couldn't do any impact on my hands, because I pushed you hard for my hands. I was small as Tanzania, so you have tiny, fragile little hands. Even my thumb bone is so small. I can't hit unless he professionally wraps my hands with gauze and tape every single training session. I can't hit any other way. My hands were like explode pretty much. And so I was training really hard. I was running up mountains and I was wrestling and I was, you know, doing all these things and everything that I could. But I wasn't having any impact on my hands. I was shadow boxing with the weights. I was doing everything I could. But yeah, I couldn't land anything and so I got home. And all the skin comes off my hands, but I'm like okay, I have to leave for fashion for years and a few days, so fuck it. I'm just gonna punch like this. And so it's just open wounds. I'm just punching it open wounds for five days straight until I literally had a crater on this one hand, and I'm just like, okay, well, it'll heal on that fast-fearious, and I'll come back, it'll be fine. Because me, I'm like, you know, I'm sticking, oh, it's just scrape, it's whatever. And then I come back and it never heals the whole camp. We just keep putting me a sworn in peroxide in it and I just have like like a crater in my hand and it keeps falling off and the whole thing falls off and it gets bigger every time every time it falls off it's bigger and it's deeper and I start to see like the little like the fat like beads because it's like that like deep like I would look at it sideways and there would be a dent inside, and then it would heal, and then it would be a huge lump, and then whatever it was inside would burst out, I was going to get a ganglin cyst on my knuckle. That was what it was. And so I finally healed up enough where I could fight, but I had to not punch on it, really at all, it would also rip right off. And I remember right before the fight I told Edmund and I was like this knuckle on my right hand. I'm like fucking I'm a plaintiff right now. Yeah, I don't like and that's I ended up actually knocking out with the straight right, but then I had I couldn't get anything done about it. Um, because then I had to go straight to make man. And then I did two cans back to back now. My knee is fucking up because I'm doing two cans back to back. And I can't take that much punishment all the time. And my knuckle is like, still like super fucked up. And I'm like, whatever. And it keeps ripping off and trying to heal it back and ripping off and trying to heal it back and ripping off and trying to heal it back. And so we get through the big man fight. And I was going to get surgery. I was going to get my hand and my knee worked on. But then Dana's like, listen, you could fight Gina in February. I'm not in February in December. And I was like, well, I don't want to wait till December. I'll be a better fighter in December if I fight in July. I don't want to be sitting and ringing rust that long because I kind of ring rusted for the me Shafight. I didn't feel good. So I'm like I want I want to stay active in that time to like give me a fight right away. So I was like okay. I'm going to fight Alexis Davis. Just like I just want fight someone. So I was like I want fight Alexis Davis. You said Gina. Yeah, it was going to be Gina Corona. And it ended up not happening. But so that was a big deal. Yeah, so I wanted to fight in the meantime, so it's like, okay, Hank is surgery and I can't get all these things worked out now. I'm going to go through this fight and then I'll do it afterward. And so then I went and did the Lexus fight. And I remember just looking at this thing and my knuckle on was like, I feel like I could pull it out. Like I feel like whatever the fuck is in there. Like I could get it out. And there were times I was trying to do surgery on it and like pull things out. And I was pulling things out of my hand.

For a little beads, like little balls of things. I felt like I was pulling out balls of fat or scar tissue and stuff like out of my hand. But I felt like even for the Davis fight, I was like, I feel like I could just rip it off right now and pull it out. But I couldn't do it because I was about to fight and I couldn't do that to my hand. I just couldn't wait to get this thing out. I felt like it was in there. It was like itchy almost. And then, yeah, the first over in hand, right, I ever threw in a fight. I threw it right on Alexis's head and the whole thing exploded. Like down to the bone, like from the inside of my neck all the way out, they never got good footage of it because I didn't want my mom to see it because she was like all, you know, really nervous and worried for me when I'm doing it with me. And so there's like this tiny bit of footage of Elliot got where I'm like holding my hand away from my mother and he's like looking around the corner. She's like you never saw it. It was down to the bone all the way around my hand and the whole thing blew up. We saw the wrap, the wrap is covered and blood when it's fine. But that's how you get rid of the gang of the insist gift like burst it. And so it was actually gone once we did that and like so did that. And then I saw, I was like, oh, cool, you know, that's what that's what it was. I thought my hand hurt and then I realized like a couple days later I broke my thumb and I was like walking around like on my hand out and then ended up having to have a pin put in and like all that stuff. So like I just had fragile little hands. I have a great chin, but fragile little hands. You know, I'd rather have, you know, at that way than that way around. But Yeah, so that's my my knuckle chronicle and then I ripped it open before the last camp because of this stupid was it commercial now the promo commercial And then I hurt my pinky during the Budweiser commercial. I didn't hurt anything else during the camp at all. I got hurt doing like the two like commercials right before hand.

I did, I have nothing to do. I just didn't want to know what time it was.

I'm so late for everything.

We can go off tangent. It's like none other. Yeah.

Have fun. I think we're good.