Transcript for #1712 - Bert Kreischer (Part 2)

I'm doing enough. That's why it's good to see people that are really good, right? Oh, because you get that juice, just like that fuel that you get from Goggins, you get that fuel from watching Chappelle. Oh, watch him bill burr.

Interesting. Oh, exciting. But we have to, we have to resist the idea of being jealous because it's so common in our world.

Well, if you go back to like bigger and black or you go back to the pain, bring the pain, bring the pain. Those are two of the best specials of all time. Like if you want to look at your top 10 comedians of all time in my opinion, you have to have Chris rocking there without a doubt.

Is the dark horse?

Martin Lawrence Martin Lawrence in the 1990s so people forgot you must be crazy dude. Are you so crazy, brother? You so crazy and then he had like a couple other specials that were on that same level. He had like two or three specials that were like lightning bolts and it's hard because you got to compare him for the time like comedy's comedy's a weird thing man like even like comedy movies from the 80s or 90s that you thought were the shit some of them just don't hold up for whatever reason and stand up comedy a lot of it just seems different because the culture so different because the world so it like everything's evolving and changing so fast it's hard but there's a few guys from the 1990s that would just obliterate like you forgot how good comics can be and I remember I saw Martin Lawrence the comic store many times like Seven ten times when he was in his prime somewhere around then I remember he would come by and just sell out the main room and you just sit there and watch him murder I mean murder. I was checking that. Falling out of chairs. I mean screaming and agony because they laughed and so hard. And it was, you know, this was 1994. Martin Lawrence was the king dude. I'm telling you.

Yeah. One of the things that happened to Chris Rock was he had a follow Martin Lawrence. the store? No, no, they did a show together. Chris Rock talked about it and talked about it how forced him to tighten up his act because he had a follow Martin Lawrence and he realized it no disrespect intended white people. He realized that he said that he'd been planted too many white rooms. And he realized like he had to, he had gotten like a little bit lazy or maybe a little slower than he should be. Whatever, he had to develop the style that maybe wasn't. He saw Martin Crush and then he had a hard time after. And then after that, you get some of the greatest Chris Rock performances of all time after that, you get bring the pain after that, you get bigger and blacker. after that you get some of the greatest bits ever so he he so like we all like every time you've bombed how many times he here goes right here he goes up one night Chicago as usual I was the headliner and on this night my opening act was an up-and-coming comic named Martin Lawrence now normally I never used to watch the opening acts, but I was in my dressing room when I heard a roar. I got up to see what was going on. I thought it was a fight or something, so I got up and went to the side of the stage. When I got there, I realized it wasn't a fight. It was people laughing so hard that the building was shaking. People were crying, standing, stomping their feet, screaming laughter. I was terrified. It was like watching somebody fucking your wife with a bigger dick. That's how good Martin Lawrence was. I followed Martin Lawrence almost every time I worked on a night with Martin Lawrence. Missy always made me follow Martin Lawrence. I never bombed harder in my life. With three quarters of the audience is walking out as you're going on stage. I mean three quarters. That's how good Martin Lawrence was in the 1990s. I'm telling you dude. I'm telling you I would watch him and I was like this guy is like he's hitting some crazy RPMs. You know, if you ever like a sports car, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I think a lot of that comes or something. No, no, no, no. I mean, maybe, I don't know about that. I don't know about that. But I know he had or something. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think he had like some sort of a manic attack. And he got arrested for wearing a sweat suit. No, no, it was like a wet suit.

From he had exhaustion.

So he was losing weight? Is that what he was doing with the wet suit?

But then they think that he had some an episode.

No, I mean, like a mental episode.

I don't want to judge him. Yeah, I'm going to edit this. Shit.

Like the guy who just sent him a super duper talented, but he also worked really hard, man.

Well, it's that too. You know, there's a lot of those just what they do guys that never get to that level. Like what separates a guy like that? you know from a guy who's just a funny dude that we all know that we hang around with at the store there's always a guy who's just like really good and they go on stage they really go but they never figure out how to like get to a place like those guys like what's the difference with a difference for me I mean I know for a fact my difference is when I saw Chris rockney talk about how you train for a special I was like oh yeah that's oh he would bring in comics and pay them to watch his set give him notes like he was he was working in collaboration with other people who was like he had like a group of peers and he would throw his ideas at them and say you know like what do you think about in the Apollo maybe really de Apollo rich voss rich or Jenny was a big one was a thing that happened It says Lawrence Renner traffic and Los Angeles screaming and acting like a madman. That's what I remember. Okay, according to, yes, that's right. Big Mom's house after. Also had a loaded firearm in his possession. Lawrence was removed from the scene by law enforcement and hospitalized. Martin was yelling, fight you know, don't give up, fight the power or something like that. A witness told a witness told K cow. He was shouting some obscenities or something. Maybe he's just doing his act. Maybe he's working on a bit.

Listen dude, I'm telling you I am too, but I just think it's hard to be that good. I think there's something about being that good as a guitarist or something to be about good as a test player or what a bike ride or whatever the fuck you are. I was I was just talking to a friend of mine about a tour de France. about Lance Armstrong like how crazy you have to be to be that good like to be that good against other people who are just like you like you have to be so goddamn driven that you're better than all these other insanely driven motherfuckers like you're dealing with like insane our pms fucking insane insane insane This episode is brought to you by Robin Hood. You want financial security for you and your family? Well, you gotta make it happen. The world doesn't owe you a living and that's how I've always approached my finances and you can too with Robin Hood. Robin Hood pioneered commission-free stock trading over a decade ago, and they continued to offer innovative products to help you maximize your money's potential. With over 23 million funded customers, Robin Hood is helping people build a better financial future. Robin Hood gives you complete autonomy to make investments to pursue your future goals, whatever they are. Maybe you want to look towards investing for your family's future, investing for retirement, or even a vacation to the Bahamas. We all have some bucket list items to cross off and Robin Hood has tools to help you pursue them. Investing a small amount now could make a big difference 30 years down the road. Take control of your financial future with Robin Hood. Download the app or visit Robinhood.com to learn more. Disclosure. Investing involves risk and loss of principle is possible. Returns are not guaranteed. Other fees may apply. Robinhood Financial LLC. Remember, SIPC is a registered broker dealer. This episode is brought to you by Zippercrooter. Look, patience is good at all. But if you're just sitting around waiting for everything good to come your way, well, you're going to be disappointed. And you're going to miss out on some amazing opportunities like your dream vacation. You have to work. Save that money and actually plan it out. It's never going to happen if you just sit on your couch at home thinking about it. And the same applies to your company. You don't want to miss out on hiring the best people for your team. And luckily there's an easy solution. that you can use. It's ZipperCuter. Try it for free right now at zippercuter.com slash rogan. They'll find you qualified people for your role quickly. And once you find someone you like, ZipperCuter can help put you at the front of the pack. Just use their pre-written invite to apply message to connect with your favorite candidates ASAP. So, let ZipperCruiter give you the hiring hustle that you need. See why, four out of five employers who post on ZipperCruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to zippercruiter.com slash rogan to try it for free. Again, that ZipperCruiter.com slash rogan. ZipperCruiter. The smartest way to hire. But that's the case with anybody who's really good at anything. And I think with a guy like Martin Lawrence, I'm telling you dude, he was so good in the 90s. Like how long can you keep that up?

I don't think anyone looked at like prior was the long journey guide that had like a real longevity. That was a wild man, you know, prior was a guy who lit himself on fire. She was a guy who, you know, had heart attacks and did bits about it and did crazy amounts of cocaine and, you know, it's free-based. I mean, prior had, but he still was around for quite a long time.

Knowing I know one of the things you do is really important he was being disciplined who are your heroes like it's like a weird word right because it's like who to it's I prefer to say like who do I admire you know and I admire people all low I think it's It's one of those things like, if you want to try your best to be a balanced person, you've got to investigate all the different aspects of your interests and your personality. So I try to, I have a lot of heroes. If you wanted to look at it as like people that I really admire, that I think that elevate me, when I listen to them or pay attention to them, or elevate other people, or provide a much-needed service to the world, or an unusual voice. Goggins is one of those. Yeah. Camhaines is one of those. Run the Patrick is one of those. Graham Hancock is one of those. Randall Carlson is one of those. It's just like a lot of people that I know that are these insanely unique voices. Sam Harris is one of those. Brett Weinstein is one of those. Eric Weinstein is one of those. There's a lot of them. I keep going forever, but they're unique people that bring a perspective that I go, oh wow. Like now I can see things in a light that I didn't see before, but I feel like as a person. It's important to encounter all sorts of different perspectives, like the pacifist perspective as well as the warrior's perspective. I want to talk to a person who doesn't even want to eat meat. They don't want to eat plants. They want to eat just fruit because they know that doesn't kill the plant. Like there's people that literally live off fruit. I want to talk to them as much as I want to talk to the people that only meet. The people that only meet seem like more interesting.

The more energy. I don't know if you should only fruit, but my point is like, I want to talk to as many fucking humans as possible that give me an insight not just to them, but also to me. I think the more weird people you talk to or the more things that people admit to you, the more you start to think about yourself. And that's when I start thinking about like really judgmental people and really angry people and really bitter and shitty people. Like what are you trying to do? Because you trying to like improve yourself or you're trying to shit on all the people around you.

We've on this podcast on my podcast. It's fun. It's fun to shoot on people. We've all done it. Yeah, especially if they kind of deserve it a little bit. And it's also self-correcting mechanism for culture. People think what you're doing is whack. They let you know and you're like, ah, and maybe you grow from it.

You can also hear how other people see you, or think of you.

I think instead of letting yourself doing your best, doing your best, but recognizing that your best is always going to be imperfect because you're a human. So you're going to stumble. So the most important thing is if you do stumble to let everybody know that you stumbled, don't try to pretend you didn't stumble. That's when I can't trust you anymore. It doesn't work. It doesn't work in the media. It doesn't work in anything. When someone's stumbles, they have to admit they stumbled. It's not a bold thing. It's the only thing. If they don't trust you, if you're not honest, if they don't trust what you're saying to be how you really feel, they're not going to listen. Just too many other people to listen to. Why would they listen to you? So just tell them the truth. Just tell them the truth about how you feel. If you fuck up, just say that sucked. And then they go, oh, bird crashes a fucking normal human. He's just like me. He realizes that he has good days and bad days and he makes mistakes and he's in a self-correcting learning process. And there's no finish. There's no end. It's like, as a human being, you get to a point where you're done. You're not done. And we think we're done. We get limited by that. And then you see, like, people don't want to try anything new. Well, I'm 52. Why would I learn a new language? Yeah. Come on, man. Get the fuck out. You'll go outside. Learn a flyfish. You know, learn how to fucking find birds. Learn to what mushrooms won't kill you when you eat them. Or take mushrooms. Yeah, that too. But it's like fucking go do something. Don't just be defined by these like cultural perspectives on how long you're expected to live and where you're supposed to be at various stages of your life. That's 40 or 50 or 60. Just be free. I fuck you can do.

Load them with ice free go through the airports and free Yeti add. I like their coffee cups, too. The little coffee cups, the little lit thing up.

Very good, and I go solid products.

They're my favorite shit when I if I went to buy a cooler this week. Oh, and unfortunately, they were out of yetis. Really? Yeah, to buy some fucking other fake ass cooler. Oh, you sold them out. We tried the problem.

Yeah. Blit your paper. Blit your paper. Yeah. Yeah. And you can put him in a shed.

He knows the shed if he's putting him in a yettie. If he's putting it in a cooler, that's the next level. Shit. Yeah.

When we say cooler, it's not cool, blazing gentlemen. It maintains the temperature of the brisket and allows it to like slowly come to like a resting point, right?

That's some wild shit that they figured out. You should put it in a cooler after you're done cooking it for 10 minutes before you serve it up. Yeah. And then wild. There's something about there's like a science to bring it down to the perfect temperature right before they bring it to you.

Fuck yeah. I love that. I don't know what they're yesterday. That's my spot. If I could, I know there's a lot of spots in Austin. I'm sure I'll visit them all eventually. But right now if I want barbecue, I'm just not taking any chances.

It was a perfect temperature, right? There's something that like, there's an art to cooking something just right. And that's what the, even if it's fucking a beat salad. Right. There's an art like if someone brings you a roasted beat salad and those beats are just perfectly warmed up. You're fucking nailed it. I ate until I was gonna get sick.

your tongue chases the brisket around your mouth because it starts crumbling and your tongue's going like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa You know, there's a different to even in Texas, it's like there's a Dallas, a Houston style. Yeah man, like these people are artists. They've been around forever.

They let you park there.

Did they have the sausage? The jalapeno sausage? Did you look at that rig?

It's amazing the patience that people had the patience to slow smoke things. Like how did they figure that out? Like, during the, I mean, what year did they figure out smoking?

Yeah, we're gonna cook these over 22 hours. The fuck are you doing? They have people at Terry Blacks that are working there through the night, like just flipping over brisket. They got like legal pads like this, like, and they're writing down which brisket go it in with time. And when they put the wraps on them, when they put the butcher paper on them, It's a science, but it's also an art form because it's like these people get a while rush at a scene like even the cutters when they're slicing up that brisket and you see how juicy it is. And they squeeze it like it's a fucking cream pie and there's a tip like it's a menstruating no lactating tip. Origen is believe a smoke meat can be traced back to primitive cavemen. No. Caves or huts did not have a chimney, so it would be very smokey once the fire was discovered. It is believed that the early cavemen would hang meat to dry in their homes and then accidentally discovered that the smoke would give them meat a different flavor, plus it also helped to preserve the meat better. That completely makes sense, doesn't it? Later on, the process of smoking would be combined with the pre-curing the meat with a salty brine or a simply salt. Do you know these to go to war for salt? Isn't that crazy?

That's a drive. That's a drive.

It's about the command cheese right here in Texas.

People were ruthless back when there's no accountability. When there was no books, when there was, when there was no, there was no, there was no writing thing down. And if you did, you didn't have a printing press. You had to use a feather.

Committed patrols to Jesus in my presence.

How poor to go flood, forged the first global empire? Just scroll out the further.

Yeah, there you go. So that was awesome, huh? Dude, they, uh, that's Brazil, you know?

Here's the thing. This is what I really believe.

Here's what I think. I think people are capable of that. Wow. Right now. They just need to be driven by whatever external forces, whatever ideas, whatever ideology or whatever necessity. If they have starving children at home, if they feel like they've been invaded by foreigners that have ill intention, they feel like they're their life is on the line. People get darker and darker depending upon how much pressure they feel under to defend themselves. If you put people in a situation where people are just atage of this throats, people are capable of stuff that's completely out of character. And I'm not equating this with murder and killing, but I'm equating this to how many people have you seen that are calling for unvaccinated people to not even be treated in hospitals. Like, how insane is that? There's a lot of people that have been doing that, and it's a similar thing where people just decide, it's time to be cruel. It's time to let these people die. Like, people have made jokes about it about letting people die. Really? Yeah, it's crazy. Because you would never do that about anything else. This is what we ever say. There's a lot of people that have done this. But I don't want to name any names. There's a lot of people who either made light of this or have sought out other people that have similar opinions and tried to get them on their side and say together, we need to like deny these people medical treatment. We need to shame these people. We need to make these people feel bad. But they don't do that with anything else when it comes to health. They don't do that with people that are overweight. They don't do that with people who smoke. They don't do that with people who take drugs. It's the one thing that they feel like they should be actively shaming people for. And it gets very confusing because when people get mean like that and they say that people should be denied treatment in hospitals. only because they're not vaccinated and you don't say that about anything else. I got to say, I don't know how you're thinking. If you don't say that about obesity, you don't say that about alcohol abuse smoking, you the only this decision is decision to not get vaccinated is the one that and you go, well, that's because they put everybody else in danger. Again, I go back to this. I think it came from a lab.

I don't know if it came from a lab. It might have come from nature, but I think that most of the scientists now believe it came from a lab. So if that's the case, shouldn't we be more upset with that? Shouldn't we be paying more attention to that?

Especially when there's a situation where people are trying to figure this out, you know, there's a lot of people that are scared of doctors period. They're scared of dentists. They're scared of all kinds of medical treatment. There's a lot of people like that. I don't think the best advice would ever be to shame those people and doing what you want them to do. No. I feel like that's what you have to do, but I feel like this we got to be very resistant, very hesitant, and we have to resist this idea of declaring other human beings as the other. because it's a real instinct that a lot of us have. So real instinct that we have when we're dealing with people that root for other teams, like people in Philadelphia are notorious for beating the fuck out of like teams that like fans come from somewhere else to Philadelphia and root for the wrong team and people in Philadelphia will be to shed out of them. But it's like that kind of thinking is a human way of thinking. And you can think it's like, I'm not like those thugs in Philadelphia, but you are your tribal. And when you're tribal and you want to show everyone how committed you are to your tribe, a lot of times you'll be the person that attacks the other tribe. It's a natural human instinct. That is ingrained in our DNA from tribal living when there was like 150 of us and we had a worry about marauding invaders There's all like deeply embedded into like who it who we are like what it means to be a person and you can use that You could like that path It could go with religion. It'd be the Protestants versus the Catholics. It could be the Democrats versus the Republicans. It's way more of a tribal thing than it is a real solid disagreement on what we should be doing and why we should be doing it. there's a lot of like weird shit that goes on and this is like one of the reasons why it's so important to think of the United States I think of what we are as a tribe like one giant tribe instead of thinking as a red and a blue that shit is like super disempowering This episode is brought to you by Dr. Squatch. I'm going to let you in on a secret. If you want to be more confident, you have to start taking care of yourself. And a great way to do that is use Dr. Squatch, especially with their new private hygiene products. They were designed to help you look and feel fresh all over.

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Yeah. No, a lot of Liberals are I'm like most of them are vaccinated. Oh, no. What's talking about? Oh, no.

Yoga people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want the vaccine ranked for yoga people as

Well, it's those map for biotic motherfuckers.

Yeah, all of them about like whatever whatever the rights are civil rights, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence, violence,

Yeah, it's like it's weird because the vaccine's definitely helped people too. It's one of those complicated issues, man. It's one of the things about being a person is it oftentimes stuff is not black and white and we want to pretend it's black and white because if it is, it suits our purposes. It defends our opinions. It's not black or white. You know, there was a study that recently came out that showed that for teenage boys, it could be more dangerous to get the vaccine than it is to get COVID. Really. Yeah, Google that, Jamie. I'll send you a link because I know I saved that because it's such a crazy story, but it's um, it's one of those ones where you're like, oh, Jesus. What's funny when I do it? Jamie, if you don't, I can definitely find it. Here it is. This one's from the Guardian. I think I read from a different paper, but it says, go back up, please. Boys, more at risk from Pfizer, Jabs, side effect, then COVID suggests studies. Success, suggests studies, excuse me. US researchers say teenagers are more likely to get vaccine-related, myocarditis than end up in the hospital with COVID. Now, this is in the Guardian. This is a major newspaper. So for them to say this, this is not like some fringe geocities page where some crazy person. It's not, it's not clickbait. This is, this is most children who experience rare side effect head symptoms. Within days of the second shot of the Pfizer BioNTech vaccine, there was similar side effect as seen in the Moderna jab, about 86% of the boys affected required some hospital care, the author said. So, the thing is like young people for whatever reason in this disease. It seems to be a fact that young people statistically speaking are better at recovering from it. That seems to be true. And I think if we deny that, it's going to make people super suspicious. Because they're going to say, OK, are we operating on information or are we operating on an ideology? So if we're operating on information, we would say that these young people seem to be way better at surviving this infection, we just have to make sure they don't spread it to other people. Yeah. So we should be better at figuring out how to test these young people regularly. And then figure out what's the best treatment for the people that are in danger that are around them, whether the vaccinated or what they're unvaccinated. But the idea of like jabbing all these young kids with these spectacular immune systems, it's like, I don't know. If you read that, you go, I don't know what we're doing here. Why are we doing this? Is it because we want to protect other people? You know, I don't know if that's the best way to do it. Is that the best way to do it?

Right. I wouldn't have. We grew up without the internet.

Those are wilder people. Those are monkey people. You know, we're like one natural disaster away from cannibalism. Dude, you know, those people back then when we were we grew up with no internet. When was the first time you got on the internet? How old were you?

Do you remember that moment where you do?

Somebody said that about the early home computers. I forget what what person it was. But they were mocking the idea that everyone would want a computer in their home.

What is internet anyway?

That guy is on Q&A's website right now. The guy who was just talking to us.

That guy is running a code. That's wild the same man.

They're funny. Someone just gets like so ahead of the curve. They figured out before anybody.

How does it work? How do you get people to follow you?

This is we're talking about like when the Vikings invaded. We knew when the boats pulled upon the shore. Yeah. The large man with the beard hopped off onto the gravel and screamed out a war cry. Oh, like this we're talking about history. We're talking about like ancient history, ancient history. I remember back in the day while I would turn my computer on and hear you've got mail. Wow. You've got mail?

What is that? It's my space. I think he's hangin' in there. But when I was at a dentist's office, I was on the couch waiting to get in and I was reading one of the people magazines. There was an article about Dan Cook. That's a Dan Cook. I think at the time it was a quarter million my space followers. I remember going, what? Like, that's insane. They were talking about how he was blowing up because of his mind space. And I remember reading that going, wow, how the fuck did he figure that out? But he was the pioneer. He was the pioneer in internet, marketing, and internet, like rebranding, and like selling, you know, whoever the fuck you are, like getting your comedy out there, getting your, you know,

Metallica, they got mad. Oh, they got fucking lit. So there was a lot of Napster, Metallica because they got mad, right? But what's there?

Everyone gets just give everyone the luck and they'll all get there and I didn't I don't think I'd be like just how hard he busted I think the problem is concentrating on any one thing whether it's concentrating on a person's luck or concentrating on a person's discipline Yeah, it's like we've decided we're looking for a binary we're looking for a one or a zero where we're looking for a war you lucky yeah Was your dad rich or were you born in the projects in your hustlin and now you're a self-made person which one is?

But there's many more facets to that diamond. It's also he worked really hard. And that's how the opportunity presented itself in the first place. It's not just like this opportunity, it was just there for anybody. And he happened to stumble upon it, but then worked hard. No, he worked hard to get to the point where he got the opportunity to. There's a lot of factors, man.

I get how you would say that, and I get why you would think that, but it's a waste of time. It's a waste of time wanting someone to admit they're lucky. Like, if you can see that there's some fortune and how they got to who they are, just let them say it. If they don't want to say it, who gives a shit? Do you get it? And most people will get it, too. And as long as you're honest about what you feel are your most fortunate moments, You don't have the judge of the people on their fortune.

You always have some new TV show you're doing. It's always something new wacky shit. I'm like, what's Bert doing over there? You're always doing something.

But I'm my advice to anybody like you or me because I'm the same way. It's just like enjoy what you're doing. Just get to the place where you just enjoy what you're doing and try to do your best. There's enough challenge in just trying to do your best. Like we add external challenge, almost to distract ourselves from the real significant challenge that we face. So we add a bunch of shit on the outside of it. Almost like so it makes like whatever the most important thing we're really focusing on, less important because we've got other stuff that's distracting us. It gives you a built-in reason for fucking it up. It's like an artist sabotage method. It happens with a lot of people. There's a lot going on with being a creative person. There's all sorts of like, insecurities and thoughts and you know things that trip you up and sometimes they help you and like he never know what you're gonna get with your mind your mind is like filled with all sorts of interactions and depends upon how well you sleep and how healthy are and what your perspective is that day and all those things can greatly interact with the rest of the world and figure out and and rather decide how your life goes take one bad move on one bad day and shit goes terrible

That's part of being the person, man. The problem is when you don't think about it. That's the problem. The problem is when you think that can't happen yet or when you're above it or when you're, you know, you've got to figure it out. That's when you're really fucked. There's no one's got this thing figured out. And the quicker we are to admit that and acknowledge that, the better we're all going to get along.

There's no way, man. It's not possible. This is like an ant trying to read calculus. You might see it. I don't know what an ant sees. There's not enough time in the world to figure out what the fuck this is all about. Yeah. There's not enough information. We're missing giant chunks of data. We're in a stage, right? If there's like ape and then enlightenment. We're like in this weird, like upward progress. We're not there yet.

Yeah, the guy who's a mushroom. Right.

Um, what is the dog? It's the Netflix one. Yeah, it's really fun guys. It magical fun guy fantastic fun guy. That's it. That's it fantastic fun guys. So I'm like I'm like this. He's an awesome human. He's a fascinating person. He's a legit psychologist, right? Like he really understands he's the first guy to explain to me that mushrooms actually breathe air like we do

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Oh, that's right. That's right. You guys were at the same place. Yeah, we met him. Right, right, right.

I'm like Christ. But you got explained to her?

Well, that the cure is a problem, right? Because it sets up this false premise where there's one thing that you need to do that's going to fix the world. But the thing that absolutely that mushrooms will do is it will help some people be more compassionate. If we like, let's pretend. Let's pretend we have a medication. Let's pretend we have a new pandemic. Forget about COVID. This is completely different. We have a new pandemic that's coming along. And then there's a medication you can give to the people that will help 40% of them get through this better off than they were before it happened.

And you give them a chance. You have a decision to make. You want to take it. You don't have to. But if you want to take it, I'll take it. If you want to, if a lot of people have had good success, do your best. That's what mushrooms are. When mushrooms are, it's this, I don't know, it's 40%, maybe it's only 30%. There's a lot of people that get through real breakthrough experiences and have a completely different perspective on what it means to be a person. What it means to be alive, what it means to love people, what it means to be open, minded and kind and sincere. And what it means to experience your faults and the times you surprise yourself with the good things about human character and the times you're disappointed with yourself. All those things, they're all happening together. in one. It's like this like calculation. We're trying to figure out and mushrooms allow people sometimes to see themselves for what they really are without any of that shit that fucks with your head, whether it's anxiety or insecurity or arrogance or overconfidence or ego or whatever the fuck it is. And it's not for everybody, because if you already have a hard time with mental health, I'm not the guy that you should be listening to in terms of what you can't take. Listen to a doctor, listen to a neuroscientist, some people that have a slippery grip on regular reality. And I don't know if anything's good for them, that just takes them and blows them out. But for some folks, it will be. And the only way we're going to find out is we make it legal. You know, there's a lot of people that have experienced like amazing things on things that are absolutely illegal. So why are they illegal if they've literally changed people's lives for a massive beneficial way? Why are they illegal? Because we haven't fucking had this conversation. That's why it's not because there's a bunch of evidence that says they should be illegal. It's because we haven't had this conversation. Because we try to pretend that other adults know better than we do. But we know they don't even have the data. They don't have the information. They don't have the perspective. They're not being honest. They're not being objective. If they were, it would have already been legal decades ago. There's some sort of weird fucking resistance to people admitting that they were wrong. And that's part of the problem. That's part of the reason why psychedelic drugs are illegal. It's not because they're bad for you necessarily because we're here drunk on fucking whiskey, which is like one of the worst things. We're smoking cigars, which is not good for you. There's nothing good for you about that. Right? That's all fine and good. But if you take mushrooms. Also, there's a problem. But we're resistant to change. Or resistant.

It decriminalized everything. Portland, Oregon rather is decriminalized everything. I think they've decriminalized even steroids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Find that out. I think they decriminalized all the hard stuff like mushrooms and I think they decriminalized cocaine. Really? Yeah, yeah, I think so. They did some of a low-grade cocaine. They did a wild thing up there in Portland. A clean and low-grade cocaine. Did they decriminalized cocaine? No, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well Okay. Wow. That's what it's real. Okay. Oregon became the first state in the United States to decriminalize possession of small amounts of all drugs and greatly increased access to treatment, recovery, harm reduction and other services. This is a direct result of a successful ballot initiative. spearheaded by the drug policy alliance. Why can't I say that word? Drug policy action, rather an advocacy arm of the drug policy alliance in partnership with the longstanding Oregon allies that was approved by voters in the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Decriminalization of the punishment of millions and has disproportionately harmed communities of color. So that's a great thing. That's a very smart thing because if you're decriminalizing users, I mean, that's the giving people the ability to make their own decisions. Now, next up, educate people on the actual real risks of all these disease or all these drugs. That's what I want to know. Especially, unnatural ones. The city of Ann Harbor, Michigan is decriminalized psychedelic plants and fungi. Jesus. Sweet. How much is a microdose? It's a good question. It depends on how fat you are. Real? Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, whatever. Size percentage means a microdose. Yeah. It's like most drugs. It's not like an act. Like I've remacked in. You supposed to take a certain percentage based on the kilograms of your body. Really? Yeah, it's most drugs. Most drugs like that. Oh, that man is drinking. That's why I said, like people can't keep up with you. You know, like a 140 pound man like Mark Norman, what did you say? He's a buck 35.

He can't drink with you. I can't drink with you. I can't drink with you. Yeah, you're a muscle. But I can't drink with you. You can. I get a give up.

Oh, look at this. Oh, this is, look at this.

Mark Norman. Look at him there. Look at this.

This podcast is cursed. I go to the mountains of the woods for a week and it all falls apart.

But on Coke, probably different sound, right? It's like grateful dead. You only really understand them when you're on acid.

You played this backstage?

Look at that. This is very fast. It's still dead. I don't feel scar. It's a car. I don't think that's a real car.

This is what men did when you couldn't be emo. It wasn't legal. It wasn't legal yet. You had to come in. You had to come in high-pitched and sensitive. Talking about college. Right here, buddy. Listen to the voice. This ain't Jim Brown. Here we go.

You've got to understand, too, that this music, like, what year was this, Jamie? 1980, right there, 72 to 80.

Let's imagine what life was like in 1972. Two more years. It was dead. We already, we just got out of the caves. Like a hundred of years ago. Yeah. or whatever it was.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. I might be off. I might be off by a thousand. My point being, ladies and gentlemen, no one knew what the fuck was going on. It was just trying to say things that made people get excited about being around them. Yeah. Whether it was a comedian like Lenny Bruce or a singer like Jimmy Hendrix. Everybody was doing the same thing.

I play this for Norman. If it wasn't for old people like us, he would never have any idea.

I like them the song.

It sounds from a different world. That's the thing about these old recordings, the like time machines. Yeah, you know. You know what I listen to when I really want to get that thought into my head? I listen to the old Robert Johnson recordings. You know why? Because Robert Johnson was the guy who at the time was so good. that, you know, he's a blues guitarist. He was so good that they came up with this theory that he had sold his soul to the devil. Oh, yeah. And he was the original recipient of fake news. He was the guy who, like, the fucking, like, if there was an inquire back then, they would have said Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil to be so good, because he was so much better than everybody else. And it's weird when you listen to it. It's like a strange haunting sort of a you get a like a like a real accurate glimpse into at least one aspect of life during the time when that guy was alive and there's not a lot of recordings like play some Robert Johnson give me some Robert Johnson it's so interesting it's an accurate assessment is that

It's all over the world. It's where when you record things, you get to get an understanding of how good people are a hundred years ago, two hundred years ago, yesterday, you get this idea of progress. But if you just hear it and there's nothing written down anywhere. You don't get that same advancement. And part of the difference in the advancement of this guy versus whatever you might hear today is the layers of music and the different sounds that producers add. And it's like there's more complexity to music because they have more ability to do it. But all of it came from this kind of shit. And at the time, there was nothing before this. So the people that never heard music before. And then the people who were amplified music were alive during the same time period, like you and I. But we were around with no internet. And all of a sudden we had the internet. These fucking people were alive where people were singing just yelling loud in a room. They had to have a closed room and they had no amplification. Didn't exist. There was no electricity. And then 100 years later, People are playing this and they have electric guitars and there's recordings of the music and you listen to it today and you know, yeah, I guess that's good But why would you think that that guy sold us over the devil?

What did guitar rock and roll the equivalent is? Is Jimmy Hendrix playing the National Anthem on his teeth? Is Jimmy Hendrix had this sound where Eric Clapton felt like quitting guitar?

All in all power. But all of it comes from what comes before. Like you and I would not be here if it wasn't for Lenny Bruce or George Carl. No musician would be where they were if it wasn't for Robert Johnson. And Robert Johnson learned off the other people that no one ever got to hear recorded. There was a bunch of people before him. I'm sure that never even got recorded who would play for these bars and these roadhouse sort of shows where they would just get on stage and people would be drinking and that was the whole thing during like the speak easy days, right? What they had these clubs where people were allowed to drink alcohol during prohibition. And they would get together and get drunk, and people would go up and sing, and they would have like these shows where they would like celebrating the fact they're all doing something naughty.

What year was Robert Johnson?

So that's right around the time where alcohol was made legal again. I think that was right around the time where they started going after marijuana. Really. Yeah, I think they started going after marijuana in like 35 or something. 33 ended and when did the marijuana thing happen? Well, they started going after marijuana. It was just a couple of years later. I don't know. A bunch of cops hanging around.

1937.

Yeah. He had a Mexican. Well, he didn't, he hated losing money. This is what he hated. So he had, and this is a controversial sort of conspiratorial theory, but there's a theory, but there's a lot of like evidence that points in this direction. Is that at one point in time, popular science put a cover on one of their magazine that said, hemp, the new billion dollar crop. And it's because they had created a new machine called a decordicator. And what a decordicator was in the old days, there it is, right there. The new billion dollar crop. See if you can like get the whole cover of it. The cover of the popular science is really interesting. Because it was on the cover. Is that closed, too? Yeah, well, here's the thing. the fibers of the hemp plant are very, very, very unique. And it's something that we are right now just starting to adjust to, like you can sell hemp, you know, my company on it, one of the things that we would sell is hemp protein. It was really hard because we had to get it. It had to be grown in Canada and then it had to be shipped to the United States in the early days before they allowed it to be grown in America. It was so preposterous because there was no THC in it at all but we couldn't even get it in America. So we had to get it grown in Canada and they would bring it over across the border. And we had to make sure that it didn't have any THC. The whole idea is that hemp seeds have an amazing nutritional profile. They're really high in amino acids. It's really easy to digest. It's a really good solid protein. It's really good for you. And it's one of the best plant-based proteins. But people are so averse to this idea of marijuana being good for you in any way that they attach it to hemp, which is something that's like, it's like, it's in the marijuana family, but it's as no THC in it at all if it's processed correctly. And they still would fuck with people who were trying to use THC to treat arthritis and all kinds of other ailments. And it gets attached to that same thing. Like it gets demonized. And this is all back to the 1930s. All of it. It's not 100%. It's not based on reality. It's not based on marijuana's killing people. That's nonsense. There's one real link to schizophrenic episodes. And there's a real consideration there.

I bet you can't really close. I've been close once. I think the thing is though that there's a certain percentage of the population that is schizophrenic. I don't, I think it's like 1%. And I think that's pretty standard. I think that numbers pretty standard. I don't think it gets higher or lower depending upon marijuana consumption. And I want to be clear that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But let's find out that's true. because I think that the numbers, so like, say if someone smokes weed and they blow their crazy, they blow their mind and they start acting nutty and they become skit-so. Like, how sure are we? They weren't on their way. That was what happened anyway.

I mean, but we don't know that. Here's I'll take the other approach. Maybe they would have been fine. Maybe a bit of a difficult life, but they would have gotten through it. If they didn't have some crazy marijuana experience, maybe that marijuana experience will ruin the life. That's possible, too. That's possible. This got to be a certain number where there's a bunch of people out there that can't hand the weed. Just like there's some people that have one drink and they get go for eyes. You start fucking taking their pants off and running through fires. My wife, yeah, keep going. It happens. Yeah. Listen. Skits of Frontier linked to marijuana use disorder is on the rise to defiance, right? But that's just like a headline on CNN. I also think it's also said they also said I ate horse medicine. Okay. I mean, but you know, this is the same place that I ate horse medicine. So there's a saying that there's a link. Okay. Just how about Google this? Google what percentage of people are Skits of Frontier?

How many people do you think, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

It's important to not I think it's bad for you. I think it is. I think there are people's get uh, what do we drink up here? I drink up here. Hold on. Ready? One, two, three.

Bro, who is I guy that shot a 400.

What was the distance for 17? That is so crazy. 417 yards for a golf ball.

And then you knock it over to the other place.

So is that a crazy move? Because you have to clear all of that. Yeah, clear all of that.

So how many strokes does that add? It takes away. We take all the green benefit in him. At least one.

So is this the new thing like super athletes who know how to whack a ball?

It's like there was a thing about golf or so it was like these guys You know obviously are very good at what they do, but they don't look like regular athletes like would have a regular athletes sort of playing golf

Is this Australia? Well, they're attacking the police. This is what they're talking about.

What kind of security is this? This is bullshit. They tried. What's that guy behind him? His arms out. Pitch. There are arms down. There's fucking 40,000 people in one guy in their all drunk. And they're all hammered. And you got to remember, he was, luckily they're golf people. Right? Oh, golf, good movie. That doesn't mean much. Yeah, golf people can be savage.

He is cigarette and smell. Look at his mouth.

I mean, when you say, well, we don't floor it because if he's not, I'll be depressed. Oh, go home. Of course enough.

Rubin's ripping John, gripping rip it. And now I know why you're in the patty. Patty, Pampleton, go to that pitch. Yeah, you can fucking go to that one in the lower end. That one down there, down there to the right-hand side, to the right-hand side, all the way over, all the way over here. Yeah, no, right there, right above that one. I'm about, sorry, fact, yeah, with the Goofy. That one, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is

All right, she's taking the money.

Daily scene drinking on night before he withdrew.

So you're there drinking with John Daley the night before he withdraws the night. The night event. The night he's at a bar.

Says right here, he kept the crowd going.

Do you know the story about you and Tom when you were playing tennis against each other?

Tom hired Coach. Oh, and Tom worked with this coach and he was practicing with this coach and the coach said Listen you got your fundamentals down. You're doing great. He goes this guy's drinking all night. He's like unless he's some sort of fucking John daily type dude in Tom. Oh, no, no. He's exactly a John daily type dude. He goes then the coach goes Oh, shit.

It was a fucking somewhere out of nowhere. See, we get video of this. The tennis match. It's got to be online.

Burk Chrysher has a legit division one tennis serve. And you just fucking smoke those balls past Tommy Bun. Oh my god. He was in such agony.

Did you at any point in time think of yelling out to him? You should have stuck to the dance off.

You have a sick serve. It's crazy. It's crazy. Like if you developed that thing, like some dudes are just really good at shooting fucking three corners. You know there's like guys just have this touch and you watch them doing like what the fuck how are you doing that?

I would like to go with you guys and play golf and just talk shit. I would just like to keep swallowing joints and keep target shit.

I think who's better a golf.

No, I get it. I mean, you told me you could do the splits.

Couldn't get him close. Whenever you look in your face, you're like, you've never done this. And then you asked me if I could do this, but it's, and I said, yeah. And then I did it and you go, holy shit, you could do this, but I go, I just told you. Yeah. You didn't believe me.

You can't like, you don't add.

Wait a year. What year were you done? Who's this? I'm sorry. Oh, there's all right. He's got a pretty sweet. He played. He's a guy. He's the one fucking clogged with you in.

He played with Jamie. He played with a two.

Yeah, that's a whole maps protocol maps. Yeah, it's MDMA for PTSD and they've used it with soldiers and he got a violent. So this is your boy right here. Football players.

Damn, dude. That's impressive. That's good numbers. That's good numbers. Oh, hey. Is that the same as yours? Yeah. Exactly. There's a thing about pool. When you play pool like this, a magic number that if someone can hit the break shot at 30 miles an hour, it's crazy. Really. 30 miles an hour has been announced. Shotgun break. See, what is the fastest break shot in pool? Like Guinness Book of World Records. I think it's in the 30s. I think some dude hit like 35 or 36 or something like that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know a dude named Rob. He was up. I don't want to say what we really call them. But he had one eyeball that wasn't totally looking at you. And this dude was giant. He was a big dude. He was like six foot two, but like thick, big fucking Eastern European looking motherfucker. Yeah. And he had a crazy break. And he used to play pool at White Plains, Billiards, or Executive Billiards and White Plains, New York. And we would watch just everyone would watch when he breaks. Could be like, watch, watch, watch, watch. Rob's breaking. Rob's breaking. Rob's breaking. Rob's breaking. Rob's breaking. He was just as gorilla of a person. He was so big. He was like, there's certain dudes that for whatever reason, just nature has provided them with like larger limbs, bigger forearm.

Well, I think there's a time that you have to develop it. Really? Yeah, I think, I think it directly, this is from my own personal experience. I think it like directly corresponds with how your body is developing.

I think there's like a thing that happens if you do it before puberty. So I got into it at at puberty. Wow, that's interesting. Yeah. So I got into like, I took like kung fu when I was young. And then I didn't have like four or five years with nothing. And then I took a karate. I was at a karate place for a little bit. And then I went to Taekwondo when I was 15. So when I was kung fu, when I learned a little bit of it, very little. I would practice a little bit, like I would throw some kicks like they showed me and I figured out how to use my body a little bit. And you saw I was fucking around ourselves a little kid. I would throw a crescent kicks and shit like that. I didn't necessarily like practice it until I was legitimately like 14, then 15. I felt 14 a little bit of karate and then 15, I got like hardcore. And I think that like as like 15 and 16 and 17 as a man, that is when your body is filling with hormones and you're growing and you're coming into yourself. And I was doing it at the same time, I was learning how to throw kicks. So I think that's what helped me.

Going to show, son.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you do in like a palm on the shoulder, are you choking a bitch?

You don't want that. They grab your hand. I put it in a way by that.

We can talk. They exist. They're out there. I don't think wild folk. You saw Ben Rothwell? You saw that picture? Yeah. Right. People are different.

She's doing it on MDMA. Yeah. Take some fucking ecstasy and talk to each other.

We should all be afraid of everything. That's the most, where it's most fun. Yeah, yeah, I only did it once but it was enough to realize two things one I can't do shows the night after I do access I found that out the other way. I was sitting in a coffee shop trying to read a boxing magazine.

Fucking Ari. All those people in that crowd, Ari should owe them all a free ticket for a new show.

And I, all right, I take it back. Someone said, uh, that's better than a regular show.

Here's the thing. The problem is to come down. Come down, it's horrible. Do you know that that's one of the reasons why Onik got started? Obviously. Aubrey came up with an idea for a product called roll on and roll off.

Yeah, yeah. It's a first product. He came up with when Aubrey and I started talking about doing what he wanted. Maybe 2010. Okay. Somewhere around then. So I might be wrong. You might have already had it. But I remember he brought it to me and he said, like, this is like, for people to get off of X to C, five HTP enhances your body's ability to produce dopamine.

It's like a building block for human neurotransmitters. It's a building block for dopamine. It's a building block for literally the chemical that makes you happy. And Neil Brennan was the first person to tell me about it.

Yeah, I think I was like that. But shit must work. Yeah, they said that he had to get off the 5HTP, HTTP.

It's his HTTP, the website. HCP is what we're talking about, right?

It's uh, it's we have to figure out like what's the optimal balance for all those things that are in your head to give me a direct hone in and dopamine a little bit of mushrooms adrenaline and cortisol and all that shit oxytocin.

Yeah, but then you start freaking out and take a year off your life.

We'll get an off it. Apparently he's one of the hardest things to do. That's a Jordan Peterson thing.

He, Benzo Diaz, apparently, is one of the rare things that when you are addicted to it, if you get off of it and you quit cold turkey, you can die. It's in a group of a small group of other things that are addictive, like alcohol's another one. Alcohol, if you get, if you're alcoholic and you just cold turkey quit alcohol, you could die.

Any wine house was not that old, man.

Since we've already had those days. She's, we've already violated copyright law. Amy Winehouse. Put that rehab song on. Put that rehab song on. Let's listen to this. She was amazing, man. I remember I heard her sing. I was like, what is this? And then I saw her in a video. Let me see a video.

She was beautiful, both like she's from another era.

I lose my brother. Cheers. Whiskey.

And with this announcement, Fox O'Brock Tove, a birthday party!

She was so good. Authentic man. There's no dentistry going on in her fucking history. She has a perfect team. She's perfect.

Imperfectly perfect. I can't got the time. But my daddy thinks I'm fun. I can't got the time. I said, no, no, no. Come on, son. Damn it, man. That is so bad. That is so bad. That is what it is. Life's all about. It's like there's trades off. There's trades. Like give trade-offs. Like do you want a long life, eat and granola? I do want to get crazy and make some fucking amazing hits.

I'm going to hold it back. I don't hold it back.

Look at that. That's come on right now.

I would be buried if they didn't fuck with me first. The real problem is they want to fucking embalm you. They want to fill your veins up with formaldehyde and preserve your body in some unnatural state. So the bacteria and worms and nature can't really absorb them. Jesus Christ. Like you're supposed to be absorbed. He shouldn't be in a box. That's the treat. Just eat me. Fuck boxes, man. The day that we can figure out who killed everybody, like whether or not you actually murdered somebody. So we don't have exumes. Someone and do some fucking Michael Badden domestic evidence. It's forensic rather evidence like that fucking HBO autopsy show. The mushrooms suit digest your body after you die. That's what I'm talking about. I want that.

That tree that tree that gives you all the little light things coming down. That's what we're supposed to have. We're supposed to die and become a part of nature. We're supposed to. We got to stop you, some funerals.

I want a Viking funeral on a fucking boat on fire in the middle of a lake. for real the bio yeah hundred percent the bio degradable what he kidding me how do you want to die I want to just die you want to be buried in some fucking stupid suit that you've never worn before in your whole life also you got a suit in your veins filled with chemicals made by some weird company that doesn't give a fuck about you and you're like just like no sir my point is got glass eyes I want the party make up on the party on the party

I like how you acknowledge you gonna die before me.

I forgot to tell you I saw him mountain line two days ago Like a real mountain line no three days ago a real legit bona fide terrifying mountain line like an enormous mountain line in Utah I've seen three mountain lines in my life. The first two were very small. The first one, it was in the distance. It looked like a, like a, if I had a guess, like a coyote side. It was small.

Last, way less, like 50, 60 pounds. The most. At the maximum. The second one I saw was exactly the same kind of size, like maybe 60, 70 pounds. Yeah.

I mean like this big. It was 30 yards from the truck we were on. We were driving down this road and I was in my friend Colton and he yells out, there's a mountain lion. There's a mountain lion. He hits the brakes and his headlights of his truck light up the side of the road 30 yards away and I see these glowing eyes and this giant cat. And it's like maybe like right before the sun goes down but the sun's up so it's kind of dusky and I get my binoculars out and I'm looking at a giant.

It's the whole bulk of its body.

And then it just takes off. It just runs into the trees. And my friend gets out of the car and he looks around. He's like, holy shit. I had seen this thing. Where were you? Where were you? In Utah. I saw in the mountains, deep in the mountains. I had seen this thing with my binoculars. It was on a dirt road. I saw this thing so clearly. This big cat. And I remember thinking to myself, imagine all these people. Imagine all these people that are like you should. The kids are mountain lions alive.

These people are out jogging and that mother fucker just by hooker by crook. By zinger by bag. Just happens to be on the trail and they wanted to this fucking 170 pound super predator cat.

That was a good size cat, but that was like an 80 pound cat. That's a little cat. Not maybe not.

I had a cat that I tried to get spade. I cut. I had a wild cat at one point in time in my life. I had a feral cat when I first lived in California. Of course you did. I had to take two weeks off, or no, two weeks off. That's a lie. Two days off. And just sleep with this cat in a bedroom to get it to like me. Yeah. My friend, my friend Laney, her and her boyfriend, found a bunch of cats that had made a bunch of kittens underneath their apartment. As you said, we rescued these kittens. It was like six of them. Do you want one? I go, okay, I'll take one. And I didn't know there were I didn't know what Farrell meant. It was to tell me they were under the, I didn't understand. They were wild cats. Yeah. So I'm in this apartment. It was a house where I was running in in Sino and this fucking cat. I tried to like let it out of the cage. Like, yeah. Yeah. It starts running up the fucking drapes and freaking out. And then when I eventually slowly cornered, I would touch it and when I put it to touch it and padded a little bit ago. And we'll start petting and purring rather. And I go, oh, this little thing just doesn't understand what I am. And it's scared and just know what to do. I go, okay. Okay. So I got a pile of books. And I went into this bedroom in the spare house that I had in in Sino. And I stacked the books and I brought cat food and I brought a litter box. So I put a litter box over here. And I had the cat food in there. And I just read books. And I hung out with this fucking cat for days. And me and this cat, like, slowly became friends. I started petting his head and he broke up.

I'm different than I was. Like I wouldn't do that today. I don't have the time to be spending two days with a fucking crazy cat.

It was a refugee too. I was like, I understand what this cat was going through. He got a bad fucking hand-to-card. That's my wife. That's my wife.

Problem is we talk and we all talk but it's not 100% what you mean and that gets other people upset and they don't they don't want to talk to you She loves Marshall

Yeah, Marshall's like a weird human sort of slash dog thing.

So easy. He doesn't care as long as you're there. He was just so easy. He's the best dog of all time. That dog like I got an Instagram page is Marshall May Rogan. That dog is a weird dog, man. He's like, is it empath? Like, he knows how you think him. He knows who he's. I hate when people say that about their dogs. Like, as a reveal, like, I hate it, but the reality is some dogs, they're tuned into you. That dog's tuned into me. Like, I got looking at my go, what bitch? I don't come over and start looking at my face. I go, what bitch? And then all I could be on my back and he's like kissing me. He knows I'm playing. He knows fucking with them. Yeah. He knows fucking with them. And he also knows like pure love. Like when I get up in the morning, one of the first things I do. When the first things I do in the morning, after I say hot in my family and everything like that, I go to Marshall. And I go, good morning, sir. Good morning, sir. Good morning, sir. And he gets so excited. He runs and grabs a toy. And he starts whimpering and running around and circles. I go, good morning, sir. I keep wants like, you know, not the American.

I don't know, man. I don't know a lot of people do. It's like, the thing about dogs is like, they are what you, it's a weird animal in that. There's some dogs that are like legitimately always great. And one of those is Marshall, the golden retrievers. They're like legitimately always like super sweet family type dogs that they're great breed. But the other thing is like what you put into that dog is how that dog treats you. I'm like I see that with Marshall like in the morning when we have this little weird ritual good morning sir I make a big deal out I make a big deal out of it with him and he gets all excited so when he sees me in the morning his tail's fucking going like crazy and we have fun together. It's like it's like There's a thing that's, if I just treated the morning like normal parts of the day, come on, you want to go outside, go take a shit. Come on, let's go back inside.

Like I don't care. Like I made every morning like a special event. Like, oh, look at you. And he lies at his back. He's like, hey, my tummy. It's a different kind of dog, man. I've had a bunch of different dogs in my life.

What kind of dog? A Regency Master. He was a super, super, super sweet dog. He was a great dog. He was wonderful, but he had a real problem with his joints. He was a big dog. And as he got over, it was devastating, like, towards the end of his life. He couldn't really walk anymore. So I had to carry him from the backyard into the house, because he would move like maybe at the most ten yards from the door. That was the most towards the end of his life. And I would say at the end of the night, I'd be like, you're hungry, buddy, you want to eat? And he would like it up and look at me and I would just lift it by night. And he's like 140 plus pounds. And I would carry him. into the house and it was set them down in front of his food, don't feed them. And then I would let him go outside and go to the bathroom and then I'll pick him back up and bring him back inside. And then a certain point, Tom was like, I'm like, I don't want to just see him die in pain over a period of several weeks. And then like the most humane thing would be like the figure out when's the right time to stop this? And you know, put him down. It was the saddest fucking. It was so sad, man. Because he was such a genuinely sweet dog. It was so sweet. Those mastiffs are uniquely sweet. Like they're so big, but they're so sweet.

That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, rude you sister.

Massives are great dogs because they literally designed to protect people. We don't think about them as they're so big that a lot of them have joint problems, you know?

Do you have a Neapolitan?

Yeah, because you got like some big things protecting you from the outside world.

That was a mom joke.

Yeah. One of the guys who was a trainer of one of the attack dogs we used on fear factor. My friend Joe, he was breeding these dogs that were part knee-a-palton mastiff and part pit bull. And one of the things that was amazing was how chill the dog was. So I go to the guy and his dog, his dog named Curly. And what would happen, people put on those dog bite suits and people would run the dog would attack him and throw him to the ground. And I said, this dog is so friendly. I go, how do you get them to, like, do what you want to do? And he said, the whole thing is, like, for a friendly dog, you just gotta make sure that the dogs that are super aggressive, you don't breathe them. So if you have a large stable of dogs, like, when a dog comes super aggressive towards other dogs, just don't let them breathe. The dogs that are chill, you let them breathe. And then you slowly, he'd been doing it for decades. He developed a breed, like Marshall. that like is just friendly to everybody. Yeah.

Well, I love all kinds of dogs. Like my oldest daughter has like a chihuahua slash, um, whip it mix. It's a little y'all in my garden. He runs, you know, full clip. And then pick them up. I like all dogs, man. Have you seen those whip dogs? I've seen the whip dogs. I've seen the whip it. Pitful mix. No, it's not true. It's not what it is. What it is is the whip it has mild, mild statin inhibitors. It's like there's a, there's a missing thing in their genetics.

That's what it is. So it's a milestone in deficiency. And so what this is is the dog has some crazy genetic anomaly that allows it to grow many many times the muscle that a regular whip it has. Really? Yes, and humans have it sometimes, too. So there's a whip it a whip it on the right and on the left is a whip it, which is myelstap it, myelstap and inhibitor issue. But there's humans. There's a German boy that was born. Oh, hey, I'm pulling him up. German boy, myelstap and inhibitors. And there's been a few boys that are born around the world where they have like immense muscles at like six. Like you do that kid. Jacked. Look at these kids. Shut up. Well, that's kids unroyed. Okay. Here's another problem. This is this. Okay. Just Google. I did. German boy. Oh, that's it right there. That kind of right there. Which one? What's, click on that kid on the second page. I think that is. Well, that's failed. That's so fake. That's not anyone else. This takes time. If you want to Google all the kids.

Just, see if you can Google my OSTAT and inhibitor boy. Look at that kid's bicep. That's like Roy Jones Jr. Jesus Christ.

I'll stop and boy. Okay. The problem is some of these kids. Well, that kid's a perfect example. Gee, it's quite these jokes.

Do you imagine if you were in 1st grade with that kid? No, I got my God, my lunch money's gone forever.

When I, that's the same story that I had. When I was playing baseball, I was 13, I was playing baseball and there was this kid that everybody was like, I want to see his person to forget.

And the kid was a picture too.

Oh, come on, that kid's 11. How big is he? How big is he? How big he's supposed to be.

Oh my god, is he really 11? Are those 11 year old? Yeah. Those are 11 year old kids. And a man throwing them around. Oh my god.

Well, his mom might have lied. That's the problem. Yeah.

Yeah, it's not fair. That's thing about athletics. You know, if you look at LeBron James versus like Mighty Mouse, it's not fair.

It's a good question. Um, was it the outliers that had this, uh, was that the book? I believe is book. I was. I read about, um, whether talking about, yeah, kids that were born at a certain time of the year. So if you were born a certain time of the year, forget what, what time of the year was. You moved into the earlier grade versus the later grade. So depending on when you were born you could be like kid who's like a thick stream end of 14 and you could be with someone who is just getting into 14 at the exact same time and you all be in ninth grade. The problem is your way closer to tenth grade and they're in ninth grade and you're going to be bigger. So you're going to be able to get away with more things. You have more testosterone. You might have 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 months more development growth, which at 14 is gigantic. So those kids disproportionately become a more successful at sports. And since we already know that, why the fuck we let them happen? Why aren't we figuring out a way to pair kids up by the actual age, like whether it's within quarters or by size, by, by, yeah.

I'm definitely wrong. I think even Malcolm Gladwell, was it Malcolm, no, wasn't, who's the outliers? Who wrote that? It wasn't Gladwell. Was it? It was Malcolm Gladwell. Yeah. Okay. Why do I think it wasn't?

No, that's a different thing.

I realized one thing during that whole sober October thing that we did that fitness challenge and I can't be doing this because I will definitely die.

That's it. The rise of food Superman. Yeah. That's right. Stealing color rise to Superman. Wasn't that was a real problem though. We were all like working out way too much. Yeah, for one month. Oh, yeah. It was like you can't that's like a Goggins thing or a Cam Haines thing. It's like there's a certain part of your life where you have to acknowledge that that's too much time and effort.

He kept taxing you about it.

How about when Tom got the flu? And he had to take like four days off and then he came back and ran 13 miles.

Well, I got you guys on two things. One, I got you guys on a John Wick marathon. I watched a John Wick marathon where I watched John Wick, like 13 times in a row. And I got, I think I did eight hours at 145 beats per minute.

That is so funny. Keep going.

It was something to do that again.

This is what I think. It's good to know that you can do that. Yeah. It's good to know that if shit gets crazy, you could push yourself into some weird space where you're doing seven hours of cardio a day, which is what we were all doing. Oh, dude, I remember one night.

Yeah.

You know when it turned dark.

Ari should fear watched a movie on his iPad while he was doing cardio and he said it's way easier if you just watch a movie Yeah, I was like oh my god, he's right. I just been just suffering trying to get through the suffering if you watch something that's interesting It'll take away the suffering and so I started watching John Wick and I watched John Wick like 150 times in a row I was on week like literally ten times a day. I remember why I remember you see the bath house scene. I was watching this scene where he walks up and he puts the gun to the bounce. He said he was any the guy. He says hello. He's just missed the work. And he said, oh, you've lost weight. And he goes, yeah, I died. He speaks in Russian. He's 60 kilos. Oh, impressive. And he says, are you here for business? They're afraid so Francis. And he goes, want you to take the night off. And the guy takes the fucking earphones out. He goes, thank you, Mr. Wick. And he moves away. And then John Wick goes in the bath house and kills everyone. And I watched that scene over and over and I marked it on Apple iTunes or ITV. All right, whatever the fuck it is. I watched it over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Look at that sweat. Look at that sweat. That was what happened. I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no All right, Bert, this is a legit record setting podcast. How many hours, Jamie, what do we have running up on five hours? Five hours, son. It's not all these. Pussy's online, get upset, and write some articles.

Dude, my wife says that to me all the time. So just yell out. Who's gonna carry the boats?

I got to pee again. Getting out everybody. Love you, bro. Love you, dearly. Burt, crash, you're the fucking man.

Thank you, sir. Love you, too. Move to Texas. I love you!

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