Transcript for Case 286: The Survivors' Network

Our episodes deal with serious and often distressing incidents. If you feel at any time you need support, please contact your local crisis center. For suggested phone numbers for confidential support and for a more detailed list of content warnings, please see the show notes for this episode on your app or on our website. At 9-12 a.m. on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, 24-year-old Wells Crathar left the voicemail for his mother. Speaking calmly, he said, mum, this is Wells. I wanted you to know that I'm okay. Nine minutes earlier, a hijacked commercial aircraft had been deliberately flown into the south tower of New York City's World Trade Center, marking the second major catastrophe that morning. 17 minutes earlier, its neighbouring twins' guy scrape out the North Tower had been similarly hit. The 110th story South Tower was struck between floors 77 and 85. Several floors beneath the office were well's crowd to work as an equities trader. After Wells phoned his mother to let her know he was alive, he raced down to the sky lobby on the 78th floor. The tip of the plane's wing had torn through the space, leaving Burning Carnage in its wake. A group of days and frightened survivors huddled at a bank of damaged elevators, nursing injuries ranging from burns and broken bones to cracked ribs and punctured lungs. Wells immediately took control of the chaotic situation and directed the survivors to an emergency stairwell that led to the ground level. carrying one woman on his back, he guided the group down over a dozen floors before urging them to go on without him. He then headed back upstairs. By the time Wells made it back to the 78th floor, the area was overcome by thick, dark smoke. He stripped it down to his t-shirt, pulled a red bandana from his pocket, and secured it over his nose and mouth so that he could breathe. Wells navigated through the debris until he came across more rigid survivors. He retrieved extinguishes to put out the surrounding flames before administering first aid. He then calmly announced. Everyone who can stand stand now. If you can help others, do so. Wells led the group to the stairwell. As they rushed out onto the street, Wells remained in the tower to continue helping others. At 9.59 a.m., 56 minutes after the planes initial impact, the South Tower collapsed. It was followed 29 minutes later by the North Tower. In the aftermath of 9.11, stories from Savava's surface about a mysterious man who had sacrificed his life to rescue them in the South Tower. They recalled that a stink to red bandana hit Warner Cross's face, which earned him the title, the man in the red bandana. When Allison Crowther read an article about the brave young man in the New York Times, she immediately knew who it was. As a child, Wells Crowther watched his father Jeff get ready for church. Jeff kept a comb handy, which he wrapped in a blue bandana tucked into his right hip pocket. One day, Jeff gave his son his own bandana in his preferred colour of red. It quickly became Wells' trademark. He wore it under his sports uniforms in high school and had it on him throughout his travels after graduation. As he entered the corporate world, Wells kept his lucky bandana ready's desk or in his back-right pocket of his pants. When his colleagues asked why, Wells would reply, With this red bandana, I'm going to change the world. When shown photographs of Wells Crowther, the survivors confirmed he was the man who had saved them. Wells' remains were recovered six months in to the extensive cleanup of Ground Zero. He was found alongside the bodies of firefighters and emergency services personnel who had been operating a command center in the South Tower's Ground Lobby, It was believed that Wells had joined the other rescuers as they were preparing to free those trapped above before everything came crashing down. Courage, Judy and Care had been a major part of Wells' character throughout his life. While he loved working in the World Trade Center, he hoped to one day get a job helping others directly. In the meantime, it was a fully trained volunteer firefighter, and used those skills to save as many as 18 lives in the South Tower. Speaking about Wells, once of either said, people can live 100 years and not have the compassion, the wherewithal to do what he did. Stories of Wells' actions on 9-11 helped his loved ones heal after their tragedy. They established the world's crowd that charity trust, an organisation that awards young people who serve their communities. They hoped that Will's a story would inspire others to be more altruistic in their day-to-day lives. His mother Allison said, We took a great piece in knowing that Will's, up until the end, was being very courageous, doing what he wanted to do. He must have felt very fulfilled that day, knowing he was helping others. In the wake of 9-11, an organization was founded called The World Trade Center United Families Group, which aimed to help those affected by the attacks reconstruct their lives. The group was primarily for the families of those who died in the tragedy, but survivors were also encouraged to join and seek support. The groups online forum offered individuals a place where they could speak to fellow survivors who understood firsthand what they were going through. Inside their online community, survivors were met with empathy, understanding and camaraderie as they bonded over their collective trauma. They shared their harrowing stories and helped each other overcome immense feelings of grief, guilt, and regret. On Tuesday, May 13, 2003, 20 months after 9.11, a post was uploaded on the survivors' forum by a new user. It read, I am only starting to feel the consequences now, despite having tried so hard to put it all behind me. I don't sleep. I see and hear the images and sounds. I'm moody. My stress and anxiety have skyrocketed, and a variety of other things. For so long, I pretended to be okay, that it is now hard to admit this is actually happening. I think I need to talk to someone about this and tell my story, but I don't see how I will manage that. Going through it once was more than enough. The user signed their post-off with their name, Tanya Head. Tanya's post-alicited supportive comments from other survivors who welcomed her to the group and encouraged her to share her story. They explained that their forum was a safe non-judgmental and cathartic space to discuss all aspects of 9-11. Tanya was praised for the courage it took for her to come forward. The group awaited her opening up to them when she was ready. Tanya sporadically posted on the forum throughout May and June. She was 28 years old and originally from Spain, but it immigrated to the US during her youth. By 2001, she was working for the distinguished investment management company Merrill Lynch in the World Trade Center's South Tower. Like others, she was struggling immensely in the aftermath of the attack. While she maintained a happy disposition in real life, internally she was suffering. She rarely left her apartment, and whenever she closed her eyes, she was plagued by images of crashing planes, crumbling buildings, and mangled bodies. Little things, like the sounds of planes overhead, or the flicker of a candle flame triggered frightening memories. Depression and panic attacks prevented Tanya from returning to work and had contributed to her gaining weight. While she was grateful for the support the other survivors showed her, she wasn't ready to share her full story just yet. In June, members of the forum organised a visit to the remains of the twin towers. The area was caught and off as cleanup efforts were still underway, but they intended to stand outside the barricade to reflect and grieve in each other's company. Tanya had initially accepted the invitation, but on the night before it was due to take place, she phoned one of the organizers to cancel. She said she was still fragile and wasn't ready. For survivors of 9-11, the road to recovery was fraught with difficulties. Priority was given to those who died and the loved ones they'd left behind. In contrast, survivors were regarded as the lucky ones and were expected to be grateful that they still had their lives. Some felt that suffering was overlooked to all misunderstood by their general public, media and government. This feeling was amplified when an invite only event was held at Ground Zero to mark the two year anniversary of the attacks, and some of the survivors were turned away. In fact, none of the survivors had ever been permitted to access the side, unlike the families of those who had passed. Efforts to arrange a private tour were also denied, adding to ongoing feelings of invisibility for many survivors. Survivors vented their growing frustrations online, with a lot of their attentions directed towards the World Trade Center United Families Group. One morning, Tanya had to log into the forum and suggested the two groups split. They could create their own online support group, completely independent of the United Families. Tanya wrote, I think it's important that we stick together. Other users agreed, and by that afternoon, they had established the World Trade Center survivors forum. Within their new online space, users were able to open up like it never before. The switch appeared to liberate Tanya, who began posting more on this forum than she had the original. Eventually, she felt comfortable to recount her personal story of survival. Tanya said she was chairing a meeting in a conference room on the 96th floor of the South Tower when the first plane hit the North Tower. Tanya and her colleagues flocked to the windows where they observed that the large, smoking crater the aircraft had left in the neighboring skyscraper. Survivors of the impact emerged from the debris and clung to the crater's edge, waving and crying out the help as explosive flames inched closer behind them. facing a terrible fiery death, the survivors took matters into their own hands. Some attempted to scale down the building to safety, while others jumped to or fell to their deaths. It was a confronting and distressing sight that would haunt Tanya forever. Tanya used her mobile phone to call her fiancé David, but the line was busy. A message was then relayed over the South Tower's public address system urging occupants to stay put. The collision at the North Tower was believed to be an isolated incident, and no one else was thought to be in any danger. Despite this reassuring message, Tanya decided to leave. She made her way to the bank of elevators in the sky lobby on the 78th floor, where an anxious crowd had already formed. Panic said in, and the crowd began pushing closer to the elevated doors. Tanya record hearing one man yell, ladies, this is not the Titanic, it's not women and children first. Then a hysterical voice cried out. There's another plane coming, there's another plane coming. The deafening roar of the approaching jet grew as it sped towards the South Tower. Within seconds, the plane made contact and erupted into a powerful fireball. Its wings shattered through the wall and collapsed the ceiling. Tanya felt a tremendous increase in pressure. All the air in her lungs was sucked out, and for a moment, it seemed as though she was flying through the air. Then everything went black. After recounting this experience to the World Trade Center survivor's forum, Tanya stopped. I find it very hard to talk about what happened afterward, she admitted. The community rallied around Tanya until she felt comfortable to open up a little more. She recalled that after being knocked unconscious by the impact of the South Tower collision, she woke up under a broken slab of marble that had once been part of a wall. Several fires illuminated the devastation around her. Lying alongside Tanya was a colleague who had been decapitated. Other mangled and charred bodies were scutted about, while the weary voices of survivors cried out in the darkness. Smoke burned Tanya's lungs, thick dust almost blinded her, and pain radiated through her body. She agonized over the realization that this moment was going to be her last. Just as Tanya accepted her fate, someone began hitting her on the back. Each thought brought her immense pain. She begged the person to stop, only to realise that her clothes were on fire, and a man was using a jacket to pat out the flames. A red band Dana covered the lower half of his face, but Tanya could see his brown eyes were kind. Just stay awake, he told her. The man said he was going to show Tanya the way out. reassured by his calm presence, Tanya mustered the strength to pull herself out from under the rubble. That's when she noticed that her right arm was severely burnt and hanging from her body by a thread of sinew. She tucked it into her jacket to keep it together. The man in the red band Anna supported Tanya as they climbed and crawled through the wreckage. Each movement brought Tanya agonizing pain and she doubted she could go on Her rescuer encouraged her by saying, just keep moving. Along the way, the pair came across a badly burnt man, gasping for air. Tanya knelt beside him and he handed her something small and hot. It was a gold wedding ring inscribed with a woman's name and the word forever. Please give this to my wife, he begged. I'll find her and I'll give it to her, Tanya replied. Just as she placed the ring into her pocket, the man took his final breath. Tanya proceeded onwards with the man in the red bandana. They eventually reached the door to an emergency stairwell where the man placed his hand on Tanya's shoulder and said, go, you can do this. Tanya's mind raised with thoughts of her life, her family, her fiance, and their upcoming wedding. Compiled to Power On, she began her descent. The man hoped her down each painful step until the smoke cleared, and the rest of the way became clear. He removed his bandana, looked at Tanya reasonably, and reassured her that she would be safe. Just keep going down, I have to go back up and help other people, he said, before heading back towards the wrecked Sky Lobby. Tanya hobbled down until the pain, exhaustion, and blood loss became too much, and she passed out. She was soon stirred awake by a firefighter who told her, where leaving here together. He carried Tanya down the remaining 24s and down onto the street, They had barely made it out when the ground began to shake. The thunderous sound of crushing concrete and metal filled the air. People all around began running away in panic. Tania was thrust under a fire truck, just as the South Tower collapsed behind her. Her next memory was waking in hospital five days later. Her arm had been reattached, but she would only ever have partial use of it, and the burnt scars would remain. Tanya's distraught parents were by her side. Where's Dave, she asked. Tanya's fiancee David worked for a consulting firm on the 100th floor of the North Tower. She would come to learn that he didn't make it. Case fire will be back shortly. Thank you for supporting us by listening to this episode's sponsors.

Thank you for listening to this episode's ads. By supporting our sponsors, you support Casefile to continue to deliver quality content. Tanya Head Survival was nothing short of incredible. In the North Tower, the plane had hit between floors 93 into 98 in a manner that decimated all forms of escape. At the crash side and above, over 1,300 people died. There were no survivors. It might have been a similar outcome in the South Tower had it not been for two special circumstances. Firstly, the emergency stairwell was far enough from the impact zone to remain usable. Secondly, the man in the red band Dana, Wells' Crowther. Survivor Ling Young described Wells as their guardian angel, saying, without him, we would be sitting there waiting until the building came down. Tanya Head was one of the lucky few saved by Wells that day. But the loss of her fiancé in the North Tower made her experience uniquely devastating. She was the only person to be both the Towers of Ivo of the 911 attack, and a bereaved family member of a life it claimed. Tenia's extraordinary story soon caught the attention of Jerry Bogez, a planning director for the New York Metropolitan Transportation Council. Jerry had fled from the North Tower before it collapsed, but several members of his team had stayed behind and died. In the devastating aftermath, Jerry spearheaded several in-person survivors' meetings throughout the city as a means of support. It was through these that he learned about Tanya had and was in awe of her story. He reached out to Tanya online and the two bonded over their shared ordeal. Like Jerry, Tanya was using her struggles as motivation to help others. She said it gave her the will to live. Jerry was struck by Tenia's optimism and resilience despite all she had lost. He invited her to attend one of his meetings set for Saturday, January 24, 2004, and she willingly accepted. While no one in any of the survivor circles had met Tenia in real life yet, everyone knew her story, and she'd become somewhat of a celebrity among them. But Tenia didn't relish the attention. When she attended Jerry Bogez's meeting, the other guests found her to be unassuming and shy. While she was responsive and grateful for their support, she was happy to sit quietly as the meeting took place around her. Jerry Bogez spoke of his vision to create a non-profit organisation specifically for 9 or 11 survivors that would help empower individuals to find renewed purpose. The organization intended to implement a day of recognition titled Survivors Day, and aimed to finally get survivors access to Ground Zero. From there, they hoped to provide input on a memorial for the site. The group settled on a name. The World Trade Center survivors network. Tanya suggested that the network joined forces with her online group, the survivors' forum. Not only would they have more political clout with greater numbers, they could also share the arduous task of identifying and reaching out to the thousands of people who would survive to 911 to offer their support. By the end of the meeting, Tanya had come out of her shell and was fiercely determined. That night, she set it her computer contacting an array of people who could help the network and its members. Six weeks later, Tanya sent an email to the survivors network announcing good news. She had contacted the World Trade Center Sight Supervisor, and after years of inexplicable rejection, she had successfully negotiated a private visit to Ground Zero. The group was elated. The tour took place on Friday, May 14, 2004, with 20 survivors opting to take part. Unlike those around her, this was not Tanya's first visit to Ground Zero. Because her fiance had died in the attacks, shared gone on one of the first private tours hold for family members of the deceased. This new opportunity allowed Tanya to focus on comforting her companions, who were eternally thankful for what she had done. After being granted access to the 16-acre site, the survivors were permitted to descend a ramp to the bottom of the pits where each tower had once stood. It was a confronting and somber experience that fueled varied emotions. some felt a sense of peace and closure, while others grappled with oppressive sadness. Tanya spoke of feeling David's presence all around her. In stories about her fiancé, Tanya detailed how they had fortuitously mad outside the World Trade Center in February 1999. The pair had finished work in their respective towers when they headed out onto the street, Heavy rain was pelting across the city, so tenure belined for a cab idling nearby. Just as she went to hop in, a man slipped into the back seat from the opposite side. He was handsome with a radiant smile and striking blue green eyes. He offered her the cab on the condition that she take his business card and call him. His name was David, and at 24 years old, he was two years younger than Daniel, and worked for a consulting firm in the North Tower. Offended by his bold arrogance, Daniel had no intention of calling him. Two weeks later, Daniel was in the World Trade Center's concourse when David tapped her on the shoulder and remarked. I never should have let you have that cab, because you never called. flustered, Tanya agreed to a quick coffee date. The pair spent the next three hours chatting. David spoke of his love for the outdoors, his selfless charity work, and his plans for the future. Tanya told him about her privilege upbringing in Barcelona that led to her business tycoon father uprooting her family to the U.S. Despite her inherited entitlements and wealth, Tanya grew to be a humble and compassionate person with an enthusiasm for social activism. At age 17, she was recruited by the number one international management school in the world. She was accepted early into Harvard University for an undergraduate degree before earning a graduate business degree from Stanford University. This helped her secure a job with Merrill Lynch in the South Tower. When Tanya had to pull herself away for a work meeting, David insisted, I have to see you again. A whirlwind fairy tale romance followed. According to Tanya, David was the type of guy who everybody loved. Nick named Big Dave, he was a stickler for time, could recite all the lines from the film Braveheart, and had a habit of misplacing things. But what Daniel loved most about David was his sensitive side. He always put others first, as evident in his volunteer work at a super kitchen. He was also a hopeless romantic, the type to serenade tenure in public and recite poetry to her. He loved children and wanted several of his own. To Tanya, he was almost too good to be true. Given that money wasn't a problem for either of them, the couple were able to travel overseas and buy a beach house in the Hamptons. They eventually settled into a luxurious New York apartment with the golden retriever they named Elvis. Their love story culminated in a dinner at the top of the North Tower, where David proposed. They planned a high-society wedding with 500 guests for early October 2001, but the preparations weren't smooth sailing. Tania found herself exasperated by the influence David's motherhood on every decision, which resulted in the couple arguing almost every day. Justice Tania was starting to have doubts, she returned home to their apartment to find a trail of rose petals leading to the dining room. There, David was waiting in a coconut bar and grass-skirt, dancing the hula. A spread of Hawaiian dishes adorned the table, all prepped by David himself. He revealed that he had purchased them two tickets to Hawaii, leaving the next day. The pair spent the next few days in a grand resort in Maui, typically reserved facilities. While there, David surprised Tanya with an elaborate and pitcher-esque wedding ceremony he had organised entirely by himself, right down to her dress. It was a magical experience, but the pair still intended to go through with their official wedding in New York. On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, tenure arrived at work in a tense mood. She and David had argued that morning over another petty grievance, something she would come to regret as their final encounter. Yet, it was thoughts of him and their upcoming wedding that had given her the courage to escape from the South Tower. Writing about it on the survivors' forum, she recalled, I wanted to wear that white dress and swear my love for him in front of friends and family. I wanted to have his children. I believed today that he stopped to give me the strength to get out of there on his way to heaven. Years later, as Tanya stood in the pits where the twin towers once stood, she reminisced on these moments. Among the flowers and cards other survivors had placed, she left a letter to David that detailed how much she loved and missed him. At the end of the survivor's visit to Grand Zero, the group in circled tenure and show it her with gratitude. Thanks to her, they had taken a much-needed step forward on their healing journey. Tanya smiled clientally, but later confided in a friend that the visit had been very hard for her. Seeing the pain of her fellow survivors was heart-wrenching, and she was now grieving for David even more. She intended to visit David's childhood town where a memorial garden was constructed in his honor. although Tanya explained that it would be hard to see his name etched in stone, and she knew she'd cry for days afterwards. She was just glad he was being recognized. She appreciated David's family whom she stayed close with and a visitor'd often. Tanya vented to her friend about another issue she was dealing with. Anyone who applied to join the Survivor's Forum was automatically accepted as the group trusted in people's good faith Yet, one member began making some suspicious posts that led the group to deduce he wasn't a 911 survivor at all, but had made up his story for attention. Tenia expressed to discomfort that the fraudster had been reading their personal posts. He had since been banned and policies were enacted that led Tenia to believe it wouldn't happen again. She wrote to her friend, I mean, who would want to fake being a World Trade Center survivor? Right? Tanya was happy to sacrifice her time to continue advocating for the World Trade Center survivors' network. She was a regular at the in-person meetings, where she drew in others with her unbreakable spirit. They applauded as she detailed all the things she was doing on their behalf. In addition to managing the online forum, she organized Survivors' speakers' events, held writing workshops, met with publishers who could assist in producing books on their stories, and plotted a documentary with a filmmaker. She used her own money to print T-shirts branded with the Survivors Network logo, hosted light-hearted addings throughout the city, and held fundraisers. She even found a specialist trauma expert to lead therapy sessions, Tanya did all of this with infectious joy that made survivors forget their pain whenever they were in her presence. They couldn't hope but being pressed with how well she was coping compared to them. With her radiant warmth and willingness to lead, Tanya quickly became the face of the 911 survivors. While most survivors struggled to describe or remember what they had witnessed that day, Tanya could repeat her story in mesmerizing detail. Survivors' stories typically featured one or two key elements. They either saw the planes impact, were inside one of the towers at the time, had witnessed the falling bodies, or had run from the crashing buildings. Tanya had experienced at all. Her severely scarred, withered right arm, was a testament to the horrors she endured. Not only was hers a truly remarkable, unique account, it also featured the lorded 9-11 hero, Wells Crouther. Yet, Tenia never tried to one-up the other survivors, or act like she had it worse. To her, all their stories were equally valid. She didn't hug the spotlight, try to profit off of her story, or bask in media attention. In fact, she seemed somewhat intimidated by it. When she was approached for interviews, she was often reluctant to participate. She was just happy and comfortable to remain an honoured figure within the close-knit survivor circles. And for all her work, she never asked for anything in return. All she wanted was a sense of appreciation and to see others follow in her lead. Yet, even Tanya had her bad days where she was uncoracteristically silent. Sometimes she disappeared for days at a time while ignoring calls and messages. She confided in a friend that she wasn't rebounding nearly as successfully as she let on. Anti-depressants prescribed by her therapist did a little to curb recurring nightmares of 9-11. She barely slept, and someday she couldn't master the energy to leave her apartment. Whenever she was inside a building, she feared a plane would hit. Air travel was intimidating, as she imagined hijackers were on board. She was also worried that she would never find a man she loved as much as David. Tanya told her friend she kept these feelings to herself because she didn't want to burden anyone, confiding. It seems no one cares about how much I suffered, what I saw. She lamented that she should have died, explaining. Now I can't find meaning in anything I do. All of this makes me mad, and it makes me wonder what it is that I'm doing here. Why is it that I continue to be haunted by the images of that day? I'm so tired of trying to make sense of any of this, of trying to cope with my situation. Over the coming months, Tenia's appearances became sporadic, both online and in real life. When the third anniversary of 9-11 arrived, Tanya forewent expectations to attend a ground zero, telling other members of the survivor's network that she would be spending time with David's parents instead. They were private people who were chosen not to appear at any 9-11-related public event. It was in respect to their privacy that Tanya hadn't yet revealed David's last name to anyone. In January 2005, Tanya volunteered to take a humanitarian trip to South East Asia to help those who had recently been impacted by the devastating Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami which claimed over 200,000 lives. Tanya kept the survivors' forum updated on her experience by sending nearly 30 page-long writings that covered everything from the meal she ate to the works she did in villages delivering supplies and rebuilding infrastructure. Those 10 days were eye-opening for Tanya. She wrote of the personal growth she went through seeing other survivors coming to terms with the death and destruction around them. It also answered the question that she had been agonizing over. Why did she survive? Now she understood. It wasn't to pick up the pieces and try and return to her old life. That could never happen. It was to help others. In the month after Tenia returned to the states, she appeared at a meetup for the survivor's network. It had been a while since the group had seen her, and she was greeted with a standing ovation and a round of applause. Her overseas humanitarian work had boosted Tenia's enthusiasm, and she seemed to be back to her normal energetic self. She threw herself back into her advocacy work for the network, becoming its co-chair alongside its founder Jerry Bogez. She worked into the night, making calls and sending emails, reaching out to bureaucrats and other influential New Yorkers until they got the recognition they sought. Plans and policies were starting to be implemented with 9-11 survivors in mind. Tanya also kept her promise by working to identify the man who entrusted his wedding ring to her before the collapse of the South Tower. After months of devoted research, Tanya finally tracked down his widow. Tanya gave her the ring in private, with no fuss or media attention. While she was happy to talk broadly about the poignant experience, out of respect for the woman's privacy, Tanya refused to divulge her or her husband's name. For all of Tang's hard work, one of her biggest tasks was yet to come. After the remains of the twin towers were cleared, a set of 37 steps that had once connected the skyscrapers' plaza to the street below remained. During the attacks, hundreds of survivors had used these stairs as their path to freedom. The stairs had managed to withstand both the collapse of the buildings and the subsequent demolition work. referred to as survivor staircase, there was set to be removed as part of the redevelopment. At the behest of the survivors, Tanya successfully campaigned for the steps to remain untouched and become a feature of the memorial. When an offer was put forward seeking volunteers to lead walking tours of Grand Zero, Tanya was the first to respond. With her positive reputation, she was the ideal candidate and was invited to try out. She carried out several test tours during which she guided tourists through the 911 site while detailing the history of the twin towers, the subsequent attacks, and her escape. On her own volition, Tanya told her followers about David and showed them her scarred arm. Her story left listeners in tears Tanya's story encapsulated both the tragedy and triumph of New York on 9-11. She was therefore asked to lead a walking tour for three of New York's most powerful politicians, Governor George Pataki, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and former Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Although Tanya was delighted by the recognition, she was hesitant to accept. She told a friend there was so much at stake. She'd only ever told her story to other survivors, tourists, or at small-scale private functions. This would be a major precedent with dignitaries, camera crews, and journalists, which would thrust Tanya into the International Spotlight. She wasn't sure she was ready and feared she'd mess everything up. Tanya's friend reassured her, saying, They wouldn't have picked you if they didn't believe in you. Case fire will be back shortly. 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Thank you for listening to this episode's ads. By supporting our sponsors, you support Casefile to continue to deliver quality content. The Walking Tour was scheduled to take place on Friday, September 9, 2005. That morning, tenure-head was a nervous rack. Jittery and Tyrionid, she considered pulling the plug entirely. Her supporters had never seen her like this. They assumed she was grappling with painful memories and felt intimidated by her esteemed guests. That wasn't the case. Tanya explained she was overrought by the large media presence and didn't want to answer any of their questions. Her fellow survivors gave her comfort and encouragement, reminding her how important the publicity was to the network's vision. This would mark the first time the 911 survivor was featured front and center at a major event. By the time the two were scheduled to begin, Tanya managed to calm her nerves. At the preceding press conference, Mayor Michael Bloomberg stated, It's hardening to know that the September 11 story will be told with accuracy, with honesty, and with a great heart. With a newfound sense of confidence, Tanya then led the way while recounting her miraculous story of survival. Those in attendance were captivated, with Governor George Pataki remarking that they were very grateful and proud of Tanya. After the tour, the press bombed Bardotania with questions and interview requests. But her unterrage kept them at bay, saying Tania was too exhausted to engage at that time. Even without Tania's direct participation, her story made headlines, and its soon came to the attention of Will's Crowther's parents, Jeff and Allison. The couple reached out to Tanya wanting to meet her in person, but Tanya was reluctant. She claimed that family members of 911 victims asked too many questions and pride for specific details, which forced her to drag up painful memories. When she couldn't give them the answers they sought, they often turned hostile towards her. One encounter had triggered her to have a panic attack, But by early 2006, Tanya had a change of heart. She was willing to reconsider the crowd's requests on one condition. Their meeting was to be private and confidential with no media or anyone else present. The crowd was happily agreed. They were just delighted to hear from another person who were their life to their son. On the day of the meeting, Tanya was once again overwhelmed with anxiety. She decided that she wasn't going to say anything to the crowd. They would have to do all the talking and respect her choice to remain silent. A friend urged Tanya to reconsider, reminding her that it was the crowd's son who had saved her life. Meeting each other was a gift for all those involved. Tanya went ahead with the meeting and the crowd was immediately embraced her. While they sensed Tenia's apprehension, they spoke to her as if they were long-time friends. Tenia sat quietly as the crowd has recounted stories of Wells from his interests and hobbies to the close relationship he had with these two sisters. Tenia told the couple that Wells sounded a lot like the man she married. With that, her defenses came down and she told them her story. She spoke of how wells it found her and led her to the stairwell, of the words they shared, and he's climbed eyes. Jeff and Allison were moved to tears. Before they went their separate ways, they gave Tanya a gift, a red bandana. The crowd is asked Tanya to speak at a memorial event for their son later that year. She told other survivors that she didn't want to, but felt like she couldn't refuse. The group was surprised by her cooling difference toward the crowd for family. Not only was it unlike Tanya to be dispassionate and impolite, she'd had no qualms telling her story in the past. Ever since the ground zero walking to her with the politicians, Tanya's fellow survivors had noticed the shift in her attitude. Her grace and optimism were often overshadowed by frustration, anxiety, and indignation. She was prone to snapping at members of the survivors' network and fostering animosity within the community. While she'd typically gone out of her way to help other survivors, she was now dismissive of them, as though her story was the only one that mattered. She began exuding arrogance and network members were getting fed up. with some even leaving the group as a result. Tanya went from fronting intimate survivors' meetings to being invited to a wide range of heavily publicized 911-related events, from charity walks, to testifying and a congressional hearing. Whenever she expressed the desire to step back from the spotlight, she realized the days of anonymity were gone. The ground zero tours were taking place six times a day, seven days a week, and her story was reaching people from all around the world. Everyone knew Tanya had. On the day of Well's Crouthers memorial event, Tanya was in such a state of panic that one of her friends had to escort her to the lectern and give the speech on her behalf. Speaking of the struggle she'd had preparing for the event, Tanya's speech said, What exactly do you say to the family of the man who saved your life and gave his in the process? But then I thought about what roles would do if our roles were reversed, and he was asked to do this for me. This is what gave me the strength to be here today. In her speech, Tanya revealed that she told Wells' story to her family every Christmas to honor and preserve his memory. She also kept a picture of him in every room of her home, so he was always with her. Tanya's speech ended. In many ways, I feel Wells and I keep each other alive. Wells, you are my hero. I live my life to make you proud. Tanya had story boosted the survivor's network out of obscurity, and by 2007, it was a powerful and respected advocacy group with thousands of members. Tanya was given the role of President, a position created just for her. With all the good she'd done, she was seen as the perfect person to feature in a New York Times article for the upcoming 6th anniversary of 9-11. Tanya agreed to participate, but when it came time to sit down with the journalist, she cancelled and began ignoring their calls. Tanya told other members of the group that she didn't want to make the network all about her, but to them, it was clear that something else was going on. Ever since the article request, Tanya had been visibly irritated. She began skipping events and acting increasingly hostile and cruel to those around her. Some, theid, she was heading towards a mental breakdown. Tanya blamed the stress of the New York Times article for her recent behaviour and said she no longer wanted to go ahead with it. But the journalist, David Dunlap, started contacting other survivors and asking some strange questions that had nothing to do with Tanya's survival story. had they ever been to her apartment, or seen pictures of her fiance. Tenia accused the David Dunlap of stalking and harassing her as revenge for rejecting his interview offers. He apologized for upsetting her, saying he was just interested to know why she was so reluctant to speak with him. Tenia's supporters asked the David to email through his questions instead, so that Tenia could answer them in her own time. He immediately sent through two pages worth. His questions covered everything from where Tanya had gone to school to whether she was still employed by Merrill Lynch. He also wanted to clarify whether Tanya had been engaged or married at the time of the 9-11 attacks, as she'd referred to her deceased partner as both her fiance and husband. There were also questions about what hospital tenure had been treated in after 9-11, and if a doctor or nurse there could attest to her remarkable recovery. The questions sent tenure into a fit of rage to the dismay of other members of the network. If she didn't want to answer the questions herself, they suggested she pass them on to her in-laws, or her employer, or give the journalist the names of the people from her story who could corroborate her version of events. Tanya refused. As the pressure to participate in the article mounted, she confessed to the real reason she was avoiding the New York Times. She wasn't a U.S. citizen. This only confused Survivors more. Given her prominence and respectability in the country, they were certain no one would care. The day before the article was scheduled to drop, Tanya sent an email to the Survivors network that read. As you know, the New York Times is going to publish an article about me. I ask all of you to please not listen to what is in the article, but reflect upon what you know of me. On Thursday, September 27, 2007, the article appeared on the front page of the New York Times with the title. In a 9 or 11 survival tale, the pieces just don't fit. It began. Tanya had story as shared over the years with reporters, students, friends, and hundreds of visitors to Ground Zero, was a remarkable account of both life and death. but no part of her story that turns out has been verified. Journalist David Dunlap had done his due diligence when it came to every claim Tanya had made over the past few years, and he'd discovered that nothing added up. Harvard and Stanford universities had no records of a student called Tanya Head, nor had Merrill Lynch ever employed someone by that name. Tania didn't have an office in the World Trade Center, and there was also no proof that she'd gone to South East Asia in 2005 to perform humanitarian work. The truth about Tania's fiancee David was a little more complex to unravel. There was indeed a man named David who had died in the North Tower. Everything about him matched with Tanya's description of her deceased partner, from his age to his job, to the fact that he was a likable outdoorsman who loved to travel, write poetry, and volunteered at a super kitchen. But when contacted prior to the release of the New York Times article, David's family, friends, and colleagues all said they'd never heard of Tanya head. David hadn't been engaged, had never travelled to Hawaii, and he lived with roommate, not a girlfriend. According to the New York Times article, quote, Few people, it seems, who embraced the gripping immediacy and pain of Tanya's account, ever asked the name of the man whose ring she had returned, or that of the hospital where she was treated, or the identities of the people she met with in the South Tower on the morning of 911. Journalist David Dunlap explained that he couldn't find a single person who record encountering Tanya head at the World Trade Center on 911. While Tanya had told dramatic stories about the family members of victims, the only ones she'd ever formally met were Jeff and Alison Crowther. The Crowther's told David Dunlap that Tanya had promised to send them a piece of the scorched jacket she had worn on 9-11, as it was one of the last things their son had touched. She failed to deliver on that promise. She had also agreed to donate the jacket to a tribute center that displayed 9 or 11 artifacts, but never followed through. Like the rest of America, the Crowthers were left stunned by Tenia's betrayal, and the way in which she'd exploited Wells' memory to fuel her deception. Jeff Crowther told The New York Times, she seemed so heartfelt and genuine. His wife Allison later told Channel 4, We took her on just to complete trust and faith. We had no reason not to believe everything she was saying to us. It turned out that Tanya's real name was Alicia Esteverhead. Born in Spain to a prominent and affluent family, she was the youngest of five children. As the only girl, Alicia was considered to be her parent's jewel, and they gave her everything she wanted. Her family split their time between three lavish homes, mingling with politicians and European royalty on yachts and at exclusive clubs. Alicia liked to boast about her family's wealth and social position, her expensive clothes, and her top tier education. That was, until 1992, when her father and brother were embroiled in a highly publicised multi-million dollar financial scandal. Both wound up in jail for embezzlement, bringing shame to their family's name. Alicia distanced herself from the men in her family and desperately tried to regain her pride and honor. She focused on her career, hoping to establish herself as an influential and respected businesswoman her fierce ambition made her notably ruthless. Alisha was known to pick co-workers against each other so that she could get ahead, and she surrounded herself with people who didn't overshadow her. She was also known for being generous in a way that made others feel as though she was buying their friendship. Throughout her childhood, Alisha was known to lie to get attention and boost herself a sting. As she got older, that behavior escalated. She typically made up stories whenever she felt frustrated or bored with her life. They were mostly just harmless fibs sent it around fictitious boyfriends. The lengths of her deception took a dramatic turn in September 2001. While Alicia claimed to have been working in the World Trade Center when the September 11 attacks took place, the reality was that she had been in Barcelona, where she was enrolled in a master's program at a university specialising in economics. There was no record of her taking a leave of absence around that time, nor did any of her classmates recall her sporting any injuries. The damage to Alicia's right arm was the result of a previous accident, though exactly what caused it remained up at the bait. To some, Alicia said that she'd been driving in a Ferrari with her fiance traveling at 200 km an hour when the vehicle crashed. Alicia's right arm was severed and needed to be reattached, while her fiance died as a result. She told others, the injury was caused by a horse riding accident at Apollo Country Club. As one Spanish journalist later recounted to Channel 4, Alicia Rest of her head was a very good actress, because with all these lies, I never found anyone telling me, I didn't believe her. Alicia graduated in May 2002, telling her classmates that Barcelona wasn't big enough for her dreams. It was no secret that Alicia had been obsessed with America from a young age. She learned American English, travelled to the States often, and had an American flag on her bedroom wall. It therefore came as no surprise to those who knew her when she departed for New York City, where she started going by the name Tanya. In hindsight, it was clear that Tanya's fictitious 911 survival story was woven from genuine reports as everything she did detailed about the day was actually correct. It appeared that she'd undertaken extensive research before first presenting herself to the online survivor community in May 2003. With the truth about Tanya Head coming to light, criticism was directed at the media for not fact-checking Tanya's claims before printing them. But, as the morning call newspaper pointed out, Tanya Head managed to throw up in a traumatised group of survivors, a traumatised city, and a traumatised nation, because she lied about something that, in most people's imagination, nobody would dare lie about. Still, Tanya had drawn a degree of suspicion over the years. Some found it odd that Tanya had never shown them any photos of her and her fiance David together. When they visited Tanya's apartment, the Golden Retriever named Elvis that she and David had apparently bought together was always out on walks. Tanya had promised to take some of her survivor friends to the Hampton Beach House where David's belongings were allegedly stored, but she kept canceling at the last minute. One had been driven to search David's name online, but found no mention of him being engaged or married at all. While some had felt uneasy about Tanya's claims, they'd been unsure of how to address it. Tanya had a tendency to get emotional whenever someone asked about her ordeal, and they didn't want to pry and make things worse. Others were acutely aware of Tanya's influence and power among the survivors network, and they didn't want to risk being kicked out of the community they relied on for support. The fear of tenure was justified. A 911 survivor named Lisa once attended a charity event with tenure, who wore a t-shirt that bore a photo of her fiance David. Lisa immediately recognized him as one of her colleagues. She was surprised to learn that David had been engaged. He'd never once mentioned it at work. Lisa tried to speak to Tanya about their mutual connection, but Tanya became dismissive, saying it was too painful to talk about. After that, Tanya turned the survivor's network against Lisa, and she was no longer welcome in the group. A similar thing happened to the survivors network found our Jerry Bogas. After years of close friendship, Tanya abruptly started campaigning against a Jerry, saying he no longer had the tenacity or leadership skills to front the group. Jerry couldn't believe what was happening. The kind and selfless Tanya he once knew had become mean spirited and calculating. She convinced the survivors network to remove Jerry, and was then promoted to President. Jerry was devastated. It wasn't until tenure was exposed as a fraud that he realized why she must have suddenly turned on him. Driven by a mix of curiosity and suspicion, Jerry had asked tenure for her fiancee's last name. He then checked it against the 9-11 victim list and confirmed it was there Satisfied with these findings, Jerry moved on. But it was shortly after this that Tanya pushed to have him removed from the network. Before the release of the New York Times article, journalist David Dunlap had only been able to get one quote from Tanya. On a phone call two days before the article went to print, Tanya stated, She wasn't wrong. Under American law, Fatania, to be charged with fraud, she would have had to deceptively obtain property from another person for her own benefit. During her time with the survivor's network, investigations revealed that Tania didn't earn or take anything. All her work was unpaid, and she had only ever donated her own money to the cause, and large amounts of it. authorities were powerless. While tennis actions were clearly immoral, they weren't illegal. For years, filmmaker Angelo Gulliano had been working directly with Tanya Head to create a documentary about the survivors of 9-11. In the aftermath of the New York Times article, Angelo headed to Tanya's apartment seeking an explanation He found her looking to shoveled and overcome with rage and self-pity. She blamed her situation on the media, asserting they were out to get her. She was also bitter that the survivors network had turned on her after everything she'd done for them. Her membership had been revoked, and the role of President had been assigned to another member. No one in the group had reached out to Tanya and several had publicly expressed their indignation. Tanya showed no remorse, telling Angela, how could they say all these terrible things about me? What kind of friends are these? Realizing Tanya wasn't going to admit to anything, Angela left. unsure what to do with his documentary in light of the recent revelations. He discussed the matter with the survivor's network. They agreed that Angelou should finish the project while also highlighting everything Tanya did, both good and bad. When Tanya found out about it, she was furious. She phoned Angelou warning. One day, the truth will come out, and you'll all feel terrible and apologize to me. After the release of the New York Times article, Tanya attempted to reach out to a few friends via email, but only one was willing to talk. They were surprised to find that she was unapologetic and depicted herself as the victim. After this, Tanya more or less vanished. She maintained sporadic contact with a few people, saying she was moving to a new apartment, had a new job, and was working with a therapist. When members of the survivor's network received a mysterious email from a Spanish account alleging that Tanya Head had taken her own life, they were skeptical. They believed Tanya had sent the email herself. Three years later, on Thursday December 23, 2010, Angelo Gullielmo was in New York when he spotted Tania out of the corner of his eye. He rushed over, put his hand on her shoulder, and said her name. Startled, Tania jumped back and yelled. Get away from me, don't speak to me. She gave Angelo the middle finger, and took off. Angelo was so shocked that he walked away, He later regretted that he didn't press Tanya for answers. Nine months later, on Wednesday, September 14, 2011, Angelou was walking down the street when Tanya obliviously passed the by him again. Shaking with nerves, Angelou retrieved his camera from his backpack and began following her. Tanya was with her mother, who'd previously insisted she didn't know a thing about her daughter's deception. The pair headed to the East River where they stopped to admire the sunset. Tanya looked happy and carefree. Angelou continued to follow Tanya as she entered a boutique hotel. Angelou waited outside, mulling over what he should do next. Two hours later, Tanya reappeared a loan and addressed for a party. as she walked towards a bus stop, Angelo became overwhelmed with anger. He headed towards her with his camera rolling. As soon as Tanya recognized Angelo, she started shaking her head and her body stiffened. Don't come near me, Angelo, she ordered, get away from me. Angelo didn't stop filming. Tanya reached out for the camera at which point Angelo exploded, yelling, how dare you? Don't you have any feelings for the people you've heard? Tanya, don't you have any feelings at all? Tanya pulled out her mobile phone and said she was calling the police. Angelo turned off his camera and walked away. Reflecting on the experience, he later said, I took no pleasure in that encounter. That night, I replayed the video and cringed. I felt sad and sorry. Did that mean I forgave her? Who the hell knows? I didn't even know who she was. Angela's documentary on the survivor's network and Tanya Head was released in 2012, with the name, the woman who wasn't there He also co-wrote a book with the same title. Since her fall from Grace, Tanya Head has remained out of the public eye. Aside from fleeting sightings in New York, it has believed she returned to Barcelona to live with her mother. In recent times, her name and image was used for an account on the professional networking platform linked in. The profile matches ten years biography and claims she is working and living in New York. Efforts to verify this information have come up a dry. Given that Tanya never claimed any accountability for her fake 911 survival story, the question still remains. Why did she do it? Some believe Tanya showed signs of pseudologia fantasticar, a rare syndrome where individuals represent certain fantasies as real occurrences. It manifests in several ways that include chronic lying with no clear objective benefit. Dramatic, detailed, complicated and colorful storytelling geared to achieve acceptance, admiration, and sympathy. The stories themselves feature the teller as a hero or victim. During her time with the survivor's network, Tanya had started writing about her experience as though she intended to release a book. One passage read. It's still all so raw. It hurts as much now as then, and I still cannot understand why. Why? Why? I talked to Dave and told him I was sorry, but he didn't answer back. Our photos together are ghosts of a life I once had, and it desperately won't back. My other half is missing, ripped away from us by human missiles. One reporter who read Tenia's writing said, It's such bullshit. I mean, now I look at it and now go, well, it's amazing. She constructed a very large narrative, a big, big story. Documentary filmmaker Angela Gulliomo told NPR, it was clear to me right away that Tanya did it for the attention for some crazy need to be a star. That's what she wanted to be, and she became that. One U.S. psychologist stated that Tanya Head wanted what most liars want, which is to change the way other people look at them, to be loved and respected and valued and cared about. Speaking to Channel 4 about his own theory, Jeff Krathar said, It would appear to me that she is an individual with a low self-esteem. Very low self-esteem. She felt she needed to do something to create a different tenure. While tenure-head had escaped punishment, her actions had a lasting impact on the genuine survivors of 9-11. Before Tania was exposed as a fraud, her ability to triumph in the face of adversity caused others to harbour guilt and shame about their struggles. Many felt that their own experience was nothing compared to what Tania had gone through, and that they therefore hesitated to share their stories. Many also felt they weren't doing enough to help the survivors network, when Tania was doing so much despite all she'd suffered through. In reality, the reason she was able to put so much time and energy into the network, because she wasn't dealing with any real trauma like the rest of the members were. Once the truth came out, members of the network felt embarrassed for being duped. Many of them idolized Tanya, but with her deception exposed, they felt like they'd lost another close friend to 9-11. One member said, On very torn, she did a lot of good for our network. It's hard to discredit at all, but she didn't have to lie. She could have done those things without needing to lie. The group's founder, Jerry Bogez, told Channel 4 that there was a violence to tenious actions. It's taking advantage of people, he said. and if you take advantage of particularly vulnerable people, that's even worse. During her time in the network, Tanya had received canceling from a therapist who was fully convinced of her story. Reflecting back, the therapist said, it's a case study. It's not just a window into her personality and what she was capable of, but of what was going on with the whole 9-11 community and what they were feeling. The survivors needed and wanted a Tania so much that they helped create her. With Tania Gone, members of the survivors network were free to speak openly without feeling inadequate. However, the damage was already done. Tanya's actions had fueled suspicions in the group, and members began accusing one another of being frauds and lying. The group ultimately disbanded. When the truth was exposed, something Tanya had once said, took on new meaning. Speaking of 9-11, Tanya remarked, sometimes I have to go back and think, Was it real? Was it a dream? Was my life really like that? Or was it just all make believe?

It's my little escape.

Oh, baby. Mama's bringing home the bacon.